Your Destiny Is In Your Family

Recently I went to hear Kris Vallotton speak at Bethel Atlanta Church and he told a story [which I'm sure to do no justice to] about a difficult season in his life when many things including finances were lacking.

[which coincidentally has described the last few months of our lives]

The story goes something like...one day he came home early from work to find the whole house completely dark and found three little tents set up in the living room that his kids were playing in. When he found his wife she explained that for months she has been shutting off the heat [and lights I believe] to save money while they were home during the day. She was just trying to do whatever she could to ease the burden as she knew how hard he was trying to rectify their financial crisis.

He said everyone should have a three little tents moment in their life.

A moment where you realize what it really feels like to be in covenant with someone. Not in convenient with someone, but in covenant. 

You know... those people in your life who do things like that. People who sacrifice, and lay their lives down for you, for better or for worse. Believe in you. Stand by you. 

Find those people. Be that person.

He posed the question--- "Who are your people?"

As a mom [and so are many of my readers] my "people" are my husband and my kids. It's not super glamourous. I'm not married to the president or running a ministry with thousands of employees. But the five people he's given me to--- they are my tribe. They are my people.

He encouraged us in a day where fame and position are portrayed as the ultimate mark of success to not end up... forsaking your family.

GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY he insisted.

Have your house in order first. Serve those in your house first. Make sure your little disciples [kiddos!] are getting the best of you and not the left overs. Lay down your life for your spouse. Fight for them. 

He walked us through the deep friendships of Jonathan and David and Ruth and Naomi. Which I will encourage you to dig deep into study yourself, but man, it was a good word. I hope it's a good reminder for you too.

I can say that we've spent a lot of the last 10 years of our relationship walking this out. Fighting for each other and our kids when it would have been very easy to walk away or pass a pill. We've had more three tent moments that I would care to remember, but it's covenant. 

He loves us this way.

Actually--- much more.

"Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. 

Your people are my people, your God is my god..." Ruth 1:16

A Deeper Way To Encourage Your Husband

My husbands love language is words of affirmation. Which means, what I do say matters, and what I don't say also matters.

For someone who throws around words in an emotional state, this can be pretty toxic and unproductive. I may or may not be known to say extreme words like "never" and "always" even if, in fact, it's just been a few times. That's just me vacillating, but that's a whole other book I need to tell you about.

What I wanted to share today is about a little truth God dropped in my heart a few weeks ago when I pulled up in my driveway. I guess it's taken me over 30 days to get from my head to the keyboard--- but I suppose for every non-blog-post written was a sink of dishes washed or a stack of homeschool papers finished. I could probably sum up my busy March and April with one word.

Baseball.

So...I thought to myself...Okay, start telling Charles all the things you're thankful for about him, tell him what he's good at, and what he's done well lately. While I think those are effective and do work. I think there's a deeper calling as a wife in the area of words of affirmation.

Speaking spiritual truth over my husband for WHO he is, not WHAT he has done.

The difference between an unconditional acknowledgment when I've see an element in his heart, or a conditional compliment on a accomplishment I've seen him preform.

One will send him on his face before the Lord, "make more more like that Lord", and the other will keep his mouse wheel spinning...hungry for another praise. Example...

Charles, I see your generous heart. You love to give. You're so good at giving away and not holding back. You really please the Lord's heart with your willingness to give. Charles, I see your love for your boys. You really listen, hold, and play with them. They are blessed to have you as their dad. I can tell you really want to impart God's truth and love into their hearts.

I recognized and acknowledged God's call on my husband to give, and his deep desire to have The Father's heart for his sons.

Verses...That was nice of you to give money to them, way to go. Or, You're a great dad, thanks for playing with them.

See the difference? Both are grateful and complimentary, but one truly speaks to elements God has placed in their hearts and the callings and gifting in them. It draws out what God has put in their depths and spurs them onto more. Not just rewarding them with a cookie for a trick well done.

Husbands need encouragement, and if it's based only on performance they can easily become discouraged because they do fail. But, at all times, we can encourage our husbands on who they are even if what they are doing isn't wowing us. That glimmer of calling is always reflecting, even if it's not blinding us. Find the glimmer, magnify it.

Try it.

Look for specific ways God has gifted your husband. Beautiful glimpses you've seen in his heart. When you see it in action---even a little bit---encourage him in The Lord.

New Beginnings

I love the beginning of a week, I love the beginning of month, and as if nothing else could top today off more--- [no not the 105 high temps] it just so happens to be the beginning of the second half of the year.

Sunday, July 1.

I don't feel like a public forum, or still being this close to it all is the best time to share, but it's sufficient to say this has been the hardest year of my life to date. I'm not going to lie, I am a bit of an over exaggerator, but I assure you my best friends & family could attest to the fact that I am not over exaggerating this. I know that leaves you asking a lot of questions, or worrying a little, but I'm sure in time I will share.

All I know is that I feel like today might be the beginning of the end of something hard, and the beginning of something good. I'm really hoping this second half of the year brings new beginnings and restoration to many areas of my life.

2012 had almost got the best of me, but since it's only half over I'm going to start looking at this year as half full and not half empty.

For now, I know, at least end of September holds a surprise 4th child for me. I'm already thankful for this healthy life growing 27 weeks strong in me.

Thank you for reading, praying, loving me...even in my great writing absence. I hope that too changes.

Valentines Getaway in Savannah

Valentines dinner at Chops

adding to my xmas list, our hotel room at Avia, the tub i didn't have time to bathe in, and me using my new camera bag

lunch at The Olde Pink House

the sign was too funny

tree hugger

Some were taken on my iPhone [obvious] and some were taken on my "real" camera. Either way. There was just too much beauty in Savannah to photograph in just two days. Loved it. It was a total surprise and I couldn't have been more spoiled or happy! 29 hours with just...him!

Timing [31 Things I Know]

[cute photo...minus...bad timing on keeping my eyes open]

This I know...

Timing

...[in marriage] is everything.

Having only been married a little over 6 years, I hardly have enough marriage advice to write a book, let alone a blog post, however it's something God is working out in me and I thought I'd share. Timing, in how I communicate with my husband . So, what I use to do when my husband walked in the door, or when he called, or any time I saw him during the day---I'd start right in--- "the kids did this or that" "I'm stressed about so and so" "you need to take care of this that and the other" "have you done blah blah blah yet?" You get the picture. Usually also accompanied with a grumpy face, and selfish attitude. After all, weren't all dialogs between the two of us suppose to start with what was going on with...me? I didn't mean harm, and to be honest I didn't really think much of it. I just thought "hey when I see you, I'm always going to be 'honest' with you and let it all hang out." I never considered...timing.

I have by no means arrived, and I'm sure my husband could even snicker at reading this post remembering [possibly] me behaving this way recently, but I do feel like I'm finally aware and attempting to change. I don't believe in pretending, or being a Stepford wife, or putting on a happy face just because he turned the corner. However, I am realizing that sometimes it's not what you say, or even how you say it...as much as it is when you say it.

My husband is a dreamer, a visionary, and a man full of ideas [gadgets, gizmos and the next big thing]. I've learned through much trial and error, that he wants me to hear his ideas first, be excited with him, and not rush to stomping them out or playing devils advocate so quickly. Let it simmer. Let it sit. [Let him have time to realize it wasn't that bright of an idea.] There is a time and a place to bring that subject back up and mention that I'm not feeling it, or I don't think it's so wise, or I have some questions or thoughts about it. It's not about not saying anything, it's about possibly not responding so---immediately. And it's not about always agreeing with them, or lying, or pretending, or telling them what they want to hear. It's about learning to communicate with a man who is very strong, but very sensitive. A man who can be easily under my thumb...by my words. It's about timing.

So my lady friends, if you aren't already trying this---give it a go. I've recently seen this put out many fires before they even have a chance to start. Pray. Ask. Seek the Lord about how and when to bring things up, mention things, ask about things, or give your opinion and advice. It's not about being a doormat or tickling their ears, it's about being sensitive to the fact that given the wrong timing, your words may have zero productive effect...unless you count offense and fighting. Be wise, and use a quiet moment alone to dive into a deeper subject, verses across the kitchen over three children. Trust me, you'll be heard better...in more way than one. 

Hope this helped.

10 Thoughts on Playing Golf

This past weekend Charles surprised me for our anniversary and took me out of town for the night. Friday I had a massage & we went to dinner and Saturday we played 18 holes of golf. My lovely mother watched the kiddos. I've only hit a golf ball one other time [recent date night at the driving range] so this was for sure my first "round of golf".

Here is a 4 minute vlog on my 4 hour experience. I share my 10 thoughts/revelations [ha!] on golf:

[Could I look any more inebriated in this freeze frame from YouTube? ha!]

I feel as though I should add, on the way there I realized I did not pack a collared shirt or shorts [because it was a surprise] so we stopped at Wal-Mart and I got my "awesome" outfit for $22 [visor was $2, had to have it to complete the dorky golf look], and I was so glad I did because a similar shirt and shorts at the pro shop there were 5 times the cost!

Sixth Anniversary

Mother's Day Last Year: Worst Day of My Life [Then & Now]

[proof you can smile for a picture, even if you're not there]

Last year on Mother's Day, might have been one of my lowest moments to date. 

Charles and I's marriage was a rocky as it gets...

Because of this Nation was uncontrollably acting out...

Because of this someone pulled me aside to question if he needed medication...

Because of all of this I felt pinned against the wall with Satan's claws in my throat...

I stumbled to a stranger and asked for her to just pray for me because I had no words to explain the emptiness [and violence] inside me.

It had been a rough year. For me. For Charles. For Nation. All coming to a head on what should have been a celebratory day. I remember I didn't sleep all night and as soon as the sun came out I went for a run. 

I don't run. [Well, I didn't at the time.]

It wasn't for exercise. I was running, hoping, somehow, I could exhaust my problems, exhaust my breath, exhaust my life.

We didn't speak at lunch. There was no card. No gift. It wouldn't have mattered. Even though he had left me notes all around the house...I felt nothing.

Someone also walked up to me that morning and just flat out asked me if I had baby blues. It was turning out to be quite the day. I held my few week old baby in arms and hoped I wasn't "one of those women." I still don't know if it had anything to do with that, but I'm sure hormones weren't helping. There were definitely more of them, than me.

I had once considered just driving off, leaving everyone, and never coming back. But that was for Marie Osmond and not me.

It was the first time in my life I ever felt so empty. More empty than before I knew Christ. To know Christ, and then to not be able to feel Him anymore...was worse.

My spirit was broken.

No matter how hard life ever got, I always had Christ. That day, I felt robbed of the only thing I thought no one could take away from me.

Fast forward 365 days later.

God's redemption + my marriage = today

My perfectly normal son + no drugs = today

My heart alive + fully feeling Christ = today

I will wake up tomorrow morning, in the same bed, but in a new house. Exactly three months ago today, we put an offer on a house. A house, we'd looked at two years ago, when things started falling apart. The same house. God, in all His redemption, had us unknowingly "accidentally" re-stumble upon it. 

Offer changes, lender changes, loan changes, 4 extensions, 5 closing date changes later...we close, move, and wake to...Mother's Day. 365 days later.

We should have closed on my birthday, then Charles', but I now see God's hand working all "unfortunate delays" out just so He could give me this redemptive blessing.

It's more to me than walls, and rooms. It's being at the end, seeing this story come to a close and marveling at how He did it.

I'm not blessed because of this house. I'm blessed because my God redeems Hallmark holidays like no body else.

Believe in His redemptive power in your life today.

Happy Mother's Day.

Keep believing...

My Best -Twenty Seven- Decisions

I was born 27 years ago today.

In honor of that, I made myself a pink bracelet with 27 beads.

More exciting than that, I finally [re] busted out my micro lens to play.

Even more exciting...my list of:

My Best 27 Decisions To Date:

1. Accepting Christ

2. Marrying Charles

3. [Fearlessly, against the flow] bearing children early on in our marriage

4. Going on mission trips as a teenager

5. Going to college [more for the friendships I made]

6. Sticking with writing...blogging [even if I did take long breaks from it]

7. Reading Redeeming Love [which began a love for reading]

8. Taking Elijah House [I refer back to it a lot]

9. Switching to Apple products [okay, maybe not monumental, but definitely fun]

10. Picking April as my first college roommate [still a best friend!]

11. Attending all the churches I have over the years [they made me who I am]

12. Exposing myself to the Kingdom of God & the supernatural gifts [like this]

13. Buying our current house [tiny, but wonderful to raise our boys in thus far]

14. Choosing organic [and or healthy alternatives when possible]

15. Breastfeeding

16. Having homebirths [and choosing my midwife]

17. Staying away from the Dr. as much as possible [minus Chiropractic]

18. Taking pictures & scrapbooking [love preserving things I never want to forget]

19. Staying on facebook [staying in touch with people I couldn't otherwise]

20. Forgiving imperfect people in my life

21. Choosing life...when I wanted to quit

22. Discovering Rainbow shoes

23. Keeping my kids home with me

24. Not letting my body image rule my life

25. Deciding to not live in fear

26. Staying close with my family

27. Finding good friends & having great counsel

25+ Things Wrong With Me

[This post may be too much of a downer for some of you, sorry, it's reality for me right now]

I'm up at nearly 2 am, because I can't sleep. My mind is swirling with all my failure from today. My failed attempts to train Nation, my drained heart that "greeted" my husband after work, and the fallout that followed both. I know you'll say I'm being too hard on myself and I know you'll say making a list of things wrong with you isn't healthy. You're probably right about both. Yet, I'm already feeling better. It's out. Exposed. Known. Now, maybe, The Lord can begin to further invade these areas. I've tried, but I've failed. I need Him to come and do it through me. I need His love.

Things I'm down about lately:

I can't ever stick to a schedule.

I stay up too late.

I sleep in too late.

I'm always tired.

I rarely spend time with Jesus.

I'm not encouraging enough to my husband.

I speak rudely to my husband.

My house has become grubbier and grubbier.

I stay online too much.

I hardly ever read to my kids.

I hardly ever sit down with my older kids individually.

I religiously go through the motions without even realizing it.

I never brush my kids teeth.

I don't memorize scripture.

I'm always behind on my Beth Moore.

I'm not good at loosing weight.

I'm selfish with my husband.

I speak rudely to my kids.

I don't give away as much money as I know I should.

I can't seem to finish a book.

I'm struggling to meet any of my goals.

I'm rarely walking in the supernatural anymore.

I operate mostly out of my flesh.

I'm so passive to the lies & attacks against my thoughts.

I blame everyone else.

I want more kids, but think I'm already doing a poor job.

I'm always late.

I fear I'll never become who I want to be.

I don't know where to start.

I feel like I get up and the same things happen all over again.

I feel like quitting.

I hate failing.

I'm probably too prideful to even pinpoint the amount.

I'm overly emotional.

I'm too easily angered.

I loose control.

I get too angry.

I've been the same for too long.

I fear I'll never change.

I wonder if I'm alone, but could never tell anyone all this.

I have great intentions and terrible follow through.

I do love my God. I do love my husband. I do love my kids. I do love my friends, and I do love strangers. However, I'm overwhelmed by how poorly I daily---tangibly---communicate and show this. I feel like I'm beyond the "I'm a mess---in need of Jesus", and I've crossed over to, "I'm such a mess forget it Lord, please give up on me too". I feel like I have.

I'm about to start my period. Hence, the drama of this post.

And yet, it's worked like a truth serum. 

I hope I'm not alone.

I know what I ought to do, but don't do it.

There is no one to blame, but me. 

There is no excuse, but my disobedience.

How do I get here? So discouraged, I don't even want to get better. 

But I do.

I don't really need your advice, I don't mean this pridefully, but I already know---I already know what I should be doing, but somehow it seems so hard...so much resistance. I know where to go, but I don't know where to start, or maybe I do, but the journey seems to long and hard [as if this one isn't]. Encouragement & Prayer, I'll take.

I stare at this mess [me] like my 4 year old stares at his messy room---he hears the command to clean it up, but is overwhelmed. Jesus, please come to my room, and help me pick up all these pieces. Get this started for me. Clear the floor of these 400 legos and help me organize my life into the right bins. Your buckets of time. Please encourage me and continue to hold me accountable until this room is all picked up. Remind me that I am four and it doesn't [won't] ever be perfect, but I can certainly do more than I'm doing now.

***

The day after this post

A Valentine Song for Me

I love Valentines because...

Pinkness

Chocolate

Romance

Hearts

Flowers

Date Night

It just so happens to be my favorite holiday. I'm slightly obsessed with pink, and it's a wonderful day to celebrate it. Shopping at target this time of year makes my heart most happy...I dream about decorating my entire house in pink & hearts [all year round]. However, these days, barely manage to. I have pink pancakes, and afternoon cupcakes on our menu, but with three boys under 4...we might just eat the M&M's and call it a [holi]day.

I tried to make this year extra special for them and bought them each a little gift, decorated a bit, and like I said...have some plans for Valentine activities. We'll see. I always look forward to Charles' surprise evening plans though!

What are you Valentine plans?

To date, my only real Valentine tradition [besides eating an ungodly amount of chocolate] is making Charles a handmade card. 

Last year I also made him this video of some of my favorite photos of us...

Mommy Martyrdom

---Ever tell yourself?---

Be selfless

Put your kids first

Put your husband first

Stop thinking about yourself

It's so self centered to want alone time

You aren't pleasing the Lord when you're so needy

Give of yourself more

Support your husband

Let your husband do the things that make him happy

It makes the kids happy

You can have alone time later in life

This isn't your season for personal time

Be thankful you get to stay at home

Stop asking for more

Think about what is best for everyone else

You don't need it

---Remember---

"So He Himself Often Withdrew into the wilderness and prayed"

-Luke 5:16

[If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.]

Clearly the bible tells us that we're to be selfless and put others first, but it never says to do so at the expense of running yourself into the ground. It is possible to put out so much and never put in...to the point of emptiness. 

Where there is nothing left to give...

To your husband

To your kids

To your family

To your friends

To the world

---Solution---

Stop being a Mommy Martyr.

Stop listening to the lies [out of context] listed above. 

Stop accepting that being a wife and mother = you completely lose yourself

I'm not talking feminism here. I'm not talking selfishness. I'm talking loving your husband and family so much so you're unwilling to give them any less than your best. And realizing you don't function your best when you're starved. How can you feed them if you've had nothing to eat yourself? Didn't the Lord himself, go away and spend time with the Father so He could feed us? We didn't call Him selfish for always "having to have alone time". We didn't criticism him for "putting him before us".

---Plan---

Talk to the Lord, tell him you need some time with just Him

Talk to your husband, tell him you need some time all-by-yourself

EVERYDAY

Yes, I said it. Everyday.

---Solution---

If getting up early [and loosing the lack of sleep you probably already had] is your preference, go for it, enjoy it...soak Him up.

But, for the rest of us, I believe there is another solution. In as much as it is possible, I suggest finding a consistent [as dinner!] solution to having daddy help everyday at some point so that mommy can slip away for

 ...15 ...30 ...45 ...60 minutes and just be with Him.

No kids waking up up early in the morning

No one getting out of their bed early from nap

No one needing something from you

No one pulling on you

No one watching you

No one talking to you

No dishes to stare at or laundry that needs folding

Just you and Him.

If it's your car, the backyard, a closet, Starbucks, or a room in your house.

Just Go.

Start making you a priority again.

Start taking care of you again.

Start spending time with Him again.

A wise husband delights in giving his wife time and space to be with her Maker, especially not at the cost of her sleep or attention.

We've been doing this for a few months, and it's doesn't always happen, but it happens more than it doesn't. After dinner, Charles has some one-on-one time with the boys in the evening and I slip away to be alone. I don't alway study the Word, sometimes I'm just alone. Whatever refreshes my spirit I do. Then I jump back in and have family time before putting the kids to bed and having alone time with Charles. Maybe it's not for everyone, but it's made a real difference for our family. I feel like I have time to myself and I didn't have to wake up before everyone or stay up after everyone to get it.

Well this is my opinion anyway, but you are on my blog, so that's what you get.

Do you have alone time? How does that work [not work] in your family?

---

[ Praying your family finds an explosion of spiritual blessings & peace as you put back into yourself.]

Our Second Honeymoon

 Cruises are known for their food. Celebrity Solstice in particular. 5 star baby. We ate in their main buffet cafeteria for most breakfasts & lunches. Food from all over the world. Delish. I'm kinda wishing we would have weighed in before, but am now thankful our scale is still in storage.

 We sailed Sunday-Tuesday to arrive at our first port: San Juan, Puerto Rico. We took a little bus tour through Old & New San Juan, sight seeing and shopping. 

 Our second stop was St. Thomas. We went snorkeling on a sailboat for 3 hours were we saw a barracuda and some sea turtles near a shipwreck. Then we spent the rest of the day shopping.

 Our third stop was St. Maarten, where we went to Orient beach and did a lot of nothing. It was the most relaxing and beautiful thing we did all week. [Could have done without the nudity allowed...definitely saw women jumping waves topless and men laying out fully naked...that will teach us to get out of our lounge chairs and take a walk on the beach.]

See that giant ship next to our "little" ship? That's Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Sea...6,000 passengers! [I didn't take my real camera on the beach.]

Our second formal night...a bit of silly from Charles. We should have taken more pictures...I had some pretty cute dresses! Oh well, someone get married and I'll re-wear them!

 The cruise was lovely. Having our own balcony was worth-every-dollar. It helped with sea sickness and was nice and private for reading, eating and listening to the waves crash all night [since I couldn't pack my box fan!] It was nice to reacquaint myself with my husband and remember he isn't just my roommate and children's father. 

We enjoyed lots of the amenities the ship had to offer, made a few friends, saw some shows, played some games, but spent most of our time sleeping, relaxing, watching movies and of course...eating. We got to eat dinner at their nicest restaurant each night, Blu. The food was fancy, but eatable. I enjoyed all 22 meals with my husband over the course of the week. Well...maybe I should add in a few room services too.

There were so many incredible places around the ship to lounge, watch the ocean, or have a drink. I wish I would have photographed all their lounges...they were so unique. One morning at breakfast I joking told my waiter I'd pay extra to see a whale and right as I said it, a whale appeared...it was unreal!

We tipped well after that!

Already missing my clothes being clean all the time and going to bed and waking up whenever I felt like it...but not as much as I missed my babies.

Temporary Single Parenthood

Recently a friend asked me how I manage the kids & house when Chalres is out of town [or when he's working such long hours it's like he's out of town]. I sent her these eight "tips". So, if you or someone you know has to swing the "single parent thing" every once in awhile [or every week]...hope this helps. 

I'm so thankful that Charles normally has "normal" hours, unless it's the end of a project [like now] and in which case I have to step it up a bit [and put my big girl panties on] to do my part to help us finish well. Dayton Daily News' new studio went live this last weekend so it's just tying up loose ends this week and we'll be headed home this upcoming weekend for Christmas and...for good. 

We have loved you Dayton, but after 5 months, we're headed...home.

At a local church's kids Christmas party [invited by our friend Grace]


My 8 Tips

 [1] Ground Rules

Understand that you are both "working". Meaning, he's working at a job, and you're watching the kids, which makes it possible for him to be able to work such long hours. So it's important you see yourself as working 12 hours just like him and it's important he values [and tells you] he appreciates all your hard work too.

[2] Technology

Thankfully, most of us have the ability to call, txt, facebook, email, skype, or facetime using our phones or computer. During the day and or night you might want to make a habit of calling him [with the kids] & [without the kids] at the same time everyday.

[3] Reward System

For you & the kids. Make a chart for the kids to look forward to earning some fun over the weekend alone time with dad! Plan something for yourself too: going out with friends, walk by yourself or...anything! This way everyone is working hard, but come the weekend, you get-a-break! If your husband isn't home at the end of the week see if you can't get someone to keep your kids for a few hours so you can have a break.

[4] Keep It Real, But Positive

I've learned that if I only complain about the kids and how hard my life is when Charles calls that it's not good for our marriage. Yes, the kids might have given me a hard time that day, but when I get on the phone I try to focus on telling him what cute things they did or ask him about his day. Encourage him, flirt with him, you know...make calling me something he enjoys verses something he dreads. At the same time, you're going to have hard days and you need to ask for his advice, vent, tell him about their behavior, etc. Sandwich those complaints in between some nice things. Also, he needs to understand it's important to listen---after all you're the mom and the dad right now so you need to have someone to vent to.

[5] Playdates

I think the hardest part of "single parenting" is adult-time burnouts. If you stay inside all day with little people who you can barely hold a conversation with...you might develop major cabin fever. I suggest getting out, even if it's to drive thru Chickfila for a lemonade and go back home. I think it really helped me [and is still helping me right now] to schedule weekly meet-ups with other moms or friends [my house, theirs or places] so that I have a adult conversation to look forward to while also doing my job---watching the kids.

[6] Give Yourself A Break

You're changing the light bulbs, doing the discipline, cooking the meals, bathing, changing, checking the mail, paying the bills, keeping the kids safe, playing with them, listening to all their talking-crying-screaming, etc. So when they go to bed don't over do it by getting everything "done". Take a mommy time out and do your nails, watch a silly show, read a book or do anything to unwind.

[7] Sleep

You have to be rested because you have to have the patience of two people.

[8] Schedule

Don't do one if you don't want to, but I find it really helps me and the kids. For example, we get up at 8am, nap at 1pm and go to bed by 8pm. We have our meals at 8am,12pm,3pm,6pm so that the kids and I both know what to expect. It's nice because if it's "one of those days" you can watch the clock and know there-is-an-end-in-sight. If the kids are staying up too much and not on a good schedule your alone time will be minimal and you really need it to be able to make it several days without your husband's help.

***

 As always, take all this with a grain of salt. Just my thoughts.

I love my husband. I love my kids. I love when we're altogether, but if we can't be I try to make the most of it. I really appreciate all the moms out there who do it alone often or all the time.


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