A Deeper Way To Encourage Your Husband

My husbands love language is words of affirmation. Which means, what I do say matters, and what I don't say also matters.

For someone who throws around words in an emotional state, this can be pretty toxic and unproductive. I may or may not be known to say extreme words like "never" and "always" even if, in fact, it's just been a few times. That's just me vacillating, but that's a whole other book I need to tell you about.

What I wanted to share today is about a little truth God dropped in my heart a few weeks ago when I pulled up in my driveway. I guess it's taken me over 30 days to get from my head to the keyboard--- but I suppose for every non-blog-post written was a sink of dishes washed or a stack of homeschool papers finished. I could probably sum up my busy March and April with one word.

Baseball.

So...I thought to myself...Okay, start telling Charles all the things you're thankful for about him, tell him what he's good at, and what he's done well lately. While I think those are effective and do work. I think there's a deeper calling as a wife in the area of words of affirmation.

Speaking spiritual truth over my husband for WHO he is, not WHAT he has done.

The difference between an unconditional acknowledgment when I've see an element in his heart, or a conditional compliment on a accomplishment I've seen him preform.

One will send him on his face before the Lord, "make more more like that Lord", and the other will keep his mouse wheel spinning...hungry for another praise. Example...

Charles, I see your generous heart. You love to give. You're so good at giving away and not holding back. You really please the Lord's heart with your willingness to give. Charles, I see your love for your boys. You really listen, hold, and play with them. They are blessed to have you as their dad. I can tell you really want to impart God's truth and love into their hearts.

I recognized and acknowledged God's call on my husband to give, and his deep desire to have The Father's heart for his sons.

Verses...That was nice of you to give money to them, way to go. Or, You're a great dad, thanks for playing with them.

See the difference? Both are grateful and complimentary, but one truly speaks to elements God has placed in their hearts and the callings and gifting in them. It draws out what God has put in their depths and spurs them onto more. Not just rewarding them with a cookie for a trick well done.

Husbands need encouragement, and if it's based only on performance they can easily become discouraged because they do fail. But, at all times, we can encourage our husbands on who they are even if what they are doing isn't wowing us. That glimmer of calling is always reflecting, even if it's not blinding us. Find the glimmer, magnify it.

Try it.

Look for specific ways God has gifted your husband. Beautiful glimpses you've seen in his heart. When you see it in action---even a little bit---encourage him in The Lord.

Thankful Thursday #92

Thankful This Week For...

#261-280 Making my way through my 1000 gifts list this year...

celebrating 31 years with my husband at a braves game
hearing Moses sing Charles "Happy Birthday"
getting out of the house alone this week after what seems like an eternity at home sick
having my best friend [old college roommate] visit from NC with her little 5 month old
how sweet little baby heads feel and smell
grilled shrimp tacos
my new cups my mother in law bought me for my birthday
swimming at my moms several days over the past few weeks
a relatively easy transition into starting 1st grade [early] with Nation
Dr's, medicine, and a mom who watches your sick kids when you're sick
All my friends whose babies have been born recently
Life for some of them when death seemed possible
How We Love [Charles & I have been watching the Dvd's together]
boys play in sprinklers [even if it makes my list every week]
Wedgits [Nation's new obsession]
watching my boys huddle together under their playhouse outside to watch the lightning storm
Strawberry shortcake [the cake, not the character]
my brother turning 16
when Nation creates something and asks me to txt Charles a picture of it
when we went to our first braves game together



What are you Thankful For?
Link Up Below

Valentines Getaway in Savannah

Valentines dinner at Chops

adding to my xmas list, our hotel room at Avia, the tub i didn't have time to bathe in, and me using my new camera bag

lunch at The Olde Pink House

the sign was too funny

tree hugger

Some were taken on my iPhone [obvious] and some were taken on my "real" camera. Either way. There was just too much beauty in Savannah to photograph in just two days. Loved it. It was a total surprise and I couldn't have been more spoiled or happy! 29 hours with just...him!

Why My Blogging Has Slowed Down...

...mainly because I sleep now.

Honestly, though. I have been trying to keep my New Year's Resolutions, one being, 8 hours of sleep. And with the new---

"Bun in the oven" [don't worry, my husband didn't get it either when I broke the news to him.]

Me: Come down here and look at the oven, something is wrong
Him: What? There's a bun in the oven.
Me: Uh Huh...........
Him: What's wrong with it? It's just a bun in the oven.
Me: Think about what you're saying
Him: [Finally got it]

So, if resolutions didn't motivate me to sleep, a poppy seed size child in my uterus has.

I've just been really focusing on trying to cook more, sleep more, and spend time with my family. Charles started a new part to his business at the turn of this year and it's going to be a busy month with 70+ hours and 6 day work weeks. Even if from home, I'm kinda single parenting it. It's just a small season, and sacrifice, not that it's easy, but I believe his desire to do this will pan out.

Some days have been easy.
Some days I've cried.
Some days I've wondered if homeschooling Nation has brought us closer or farther.
Some days I see that all the work to be done is...also in me...not just in my oldest only.
Some days my husband has gotten of work an hour early.
Some days he's gotten off work 6 hours later.
Some days the kids have almost died being boys.

It's life. I'm so thankful though for my God, my husband, my family and my church friends. All of them have brought [as corny as it sounds] sunshine into my life during this busy and transitional start to the year.

[Currently my 1 year old is chasing my 3 year old with a cheese grader around the house---should I stop blogging? Is this terribly unsafe?]

So I might write, I might not, I hope so. But at the end of the day if I've done what God told me to and I don't have time to share---it's a small sacrifice to be obedient to what He's called me to do with the precious few hours I have to fit it all in everyday.

Tonight, I feel that all is well with the world. Even if my kids are chasing each other around with kitchen supplies. It could be worse, I could be working out instead of blogging.

What transitions has your new year brought you?

Us...at Christmas

we let jesus photo bomb our photo

i adore him

laughter keeps us together

serious

unserious [i have no idea what was happening here]

Scripture & Snapshot 30

My husband heard this scripture and wrote this song...

Let Me In

I see your face pushed on the floor. You snot-faced child of mine---

you should know I'm more in love with you than all the books and stories

you've heard all your life.

I'm the One who kissed your face before you were ever born.

O count the stars if you can! I made them all, and I made you too...

if you only knew what you mean to me.

Well, I want you to see

You're wearing thin,

Please let your heart open,

and let me in.

I'll take your sin.

Just let your heart open,

and let me in.

You're wondered if I've had enough: "What if God gives up on me,

and He runs out of love? What if I'm too far gone, and God is done?

I've squandered my life for mammon.

I wonder if He'd call me son. I'm so unworthy now..."

O but now, son, if you could see me...you'd see my legs run...

you'd see my heart jump...you'd feel my kiss on your face.

He's home again! Home again!

I could never imagine Heaven without you here...

my greatest fear is you lost and gone.

I call you son.

Come home again.

Please let your heart open,

and let me in.

I'll take your sin.

Just let your heart open,

and let me in.

Though you were dark, you would be like the morning star on fire,

Sweet child of mine, I love your heart. You're always my desire.

I smile when I think of you...never depends on what you do.

Just let me in.

O, please let me in.

I see the tears stream down your face. You snot-faced child of mine---

you should know I'm crazy

about you.

***

***

Nothing Says Romance Like...

I saw this idea on Pinterest, only it didn't give instructions for boys who didn't want to participate. I even was bribing with brownies! Clearly, Nation understood.

My boys love their dad, and their dad loves his boys.

Nothing says romance like a man who loves kids.

Charles loves to play, teach, and invest in his kids. I'm so thankful for all his participation in their "rearing". He's finds them fascinating & hilariously irresistible. 

He's pretty much always willing to: change a diaper, wipe a face, serve a meal...

I'm continuously amazed at how, despite the increasing expenses, hardships, inconveniences, and added noise Charles continues to see the long term value in raising children. I'm not sure he'll ever tell me we're done. I"m sure he'll always want more. 

And that, I admire. I'm more of a short-term-this-is-overwhelming kinda person. I'm glad we're paired together to encourage one another in our callings as parents.

***

I can't write this post without thanking the Lord also for my dad [Steve], my step-dad [Jim] and my father in laws [Chuck & Ted]. We wouldn't be who we are today without all of them. Thanks Dads!

***

What Happens In Vegas [Ends Up In A Blog Post]

Last weekend, Charles finished up a two week job in Vegas, and the next day he turned 30---as you know---I went out to visit him from Saturday to Tuesday night. I wrote about our time in the Grand Canyon, but  hadn't posted many pictures from our time in Vegas.

It may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I moved this past weekend...

We stayed at The Venetian one night.

Got a great deal on Expedia.com the day before I flew out there, and we throughly enjoyed our nearly 700 square feet hotel room. I told them it was his 30th birthday and they gave us a free "room view upgrade" so we could see the city and pool!

The hotel had gambling I think [ha!], all I know was there was lots and lots and lots of food and shopping. In our off time we watched TV on all three flat screens [at the same time] and avoided the $13 mini bar M&M's.

Hard to believe this is the cheapest, lowest ranking room at The Venetian.  

Since we were taking the red eye flight late Tuesday night, we just hung out by the pool after check out. 

I giggled at most of the fancy stores, didn't really feel like my Old Navy outfits qualified me to walk in them. We were going to do the gondola ride, but they were $65 a piece and I'd rather just go to Venice and ride a real one someday.

Charles LOVE's The Beatles, so naturally he wanted to see it, and LOVEd it. I've seen a lot of Cirque Du Soleil's, I'd describe this one as mainly acting, dancing, and singing and not so much circus tricks. I really did enjoy it, loved the music. Only disliked one scene---got a little Tim Burton dark for me. 

Can you believe we paid the same price to stay in this gorgeous house hotel as we did at this Motel-6-quality hotel at The Grand Canyon Lodge. I guess when you're the only place in the park you can charge whatever you want. Oh, and making reservations less than 24 hours before arriving probably doesn't help either. 


Regardless, the views were beautiful. We stayed at the Maswik Lodge, I'd suggest saying off property, or doing the lower priced rooms [if available] because they can't be much worse [but they are half the cost!]


It was walking distance to great viewing points and restaurants, but there are also free bus routes if you stay in an "inconvenient" room.

A Valentine Song for Me

I love Valentines because...

Pinkness

Chocolate

Romance

Hearts

Flowers

Date Night

It just so happens to be my favorite holiday. I'm slightly obsessed with pink, and it's a wonderful day to celebrate it. Shopping at target this time of year makes my heart most happy...I dream about decorating my entire house in pink & hearts [all year round]. However, these days, barely manage to. I have pink pancakes, and afternoon cupcakes on our menu, but with three boys under 4...we might just eat the M&M's and call it a [holi]day.

I tried to make this year extra special for them and bought them each a little gift, decorated a bit, and like I said...have some plans for Valentine activities. We'll see. I always look forward to Charles' surprise evening plans though!

What are you Valentine plans?

To date, my only real Valentine tradition [besides eating an ungodly amount of chocolate] is making Charles a handmade card. 

Last year I also made him this video of some of my favorite photos of us...

Thankful Thursdays Top Ten [#26] [Giveaway]

Nation at Tres Lagos Ranch Last Month

[YouCapture Photo Challenge: Happy]

Thankful This Week For:

1. "Editing down" ranch pictures to 400 [goal is to post highlights before the 1st]

2. A husband who keeps it real & helps me when I'm "outta whack"

3. Playdates [and friendships restored!]

4. A book that's rocking my world

5. Ladies night with small group woman...the transparency was almost as good as the food [strawberry lemonade & gingerbread chocolate cookies, Puerto Rican rice&beans, and Mexican food a la carte]

6. The few hours of "warmth" the kids enjoy outside despite winter weather

7. An inbox averaging 100+ [constantly] back down to 40

8. The [creative?] ideas He's given me [despite time to currently explore them]

9. A best friend finding a new house

10. Organic candy bars

Recently, Angell sent me a few samples of their candy bars...naturally [pun intended] I wad delighted to "help" by sampling. If only THAT could be my full time job. Well, maybe part time job, then my other part time job would need to be a fitness trainer. I digress. 

I tried all 3 yummy chocolate flavors [Dark, Milk, White].

Dark being my fav, duh.

I wish all companies had a "eat no evil" policy like they do. Fair trade & Organic all-the-way baby. These round about 150 calorie thin candy bars are just big enough to make you feel like you've eaten a "real" candy bar, without leaving you dissatisfied from those halloween sized candy "fun size." I'd compare the taste to that of a Kit-Kat Bar, and or a little mix of a really yummy chocolate protein bar. I'm just happy to be indulging on something with real ingredients and low cal. 

Wanna Try Them? 

I'm giving away a Angell Organic Candy Bar 12 pack 

[your choice of flavor]

To enter...participate below in Thankful Thursday Link Up 

or

Post your 10 Thankfuls in Comment Section

[Contest ends next Thursday]
[No internationally shipping unless you're Kate Moore]

***Winner is From Mel***

***

Every week I invite my friends in blogworld to...

 join me in being thankful. 

[1] write a blog post with 10 things you're thankful for this week

[2] mention this blog post [hyperlink my blog and/or grab my button]

[3] use McLinky below by clicking on "Click here to enter"

You don't have to do it on Thursdays. You can do it any day of the week. Call it whatever you want. Be creative...use words, pictures, poems, etc. Come back throughout the week and read other's lists and make new friends.
Ask others to join too. 

***

What My Husband Does For A Living

or "How My Husband Brings Home The Bacon"

or "Did You Know Wires Were So Purdy?"

As you know, we just got home last Sunday from Dayton, Ohio after an almost 5 month out-of-town job for my husband's company, Inspired Excellence. My husband took a crew of 6 guys with him and they transformed WHIO Channel 7 News Station into this...

 They specialize in taking messes of wires and making it look like that [above].

 They ran wires from the equipment room through the ceilings, the floors, and even along the ceiling [like above third picture] to the TV studio.

 They installed TV's as well as all the broadcast wiring.

 The boys were amazed at the thousands of wires that ran under the floors.

 All their hard work is not only organized and beautiful, but makes live newscasts & weather reports possible...among other things.

P.S. I shot all these photos with Moses on my back...now thats babywearing.