Stop it

A few weeks ago we went through a sickness rough patch. The kind where there's 6 of you and so when one of you gets sick you have to wait 24...48...72 hours before being around other people. But the clock keeps starting over and the sickness keep morphying and spreading [again!] among your offspring. 

You're welcome I'm sparing you the details, but needless to say we were house bound for a long time and cabin fever [and guilt] were settling in hard. A sweet friend came over with soup, watermelon, cupcakes a little something else. No it wasn't wine. Ha. 

That "little something else" was her releasing me from the sick weighing burden of feeling guilty for being so sick a lot  recently. Sounds strange, but I definitely felt judged, less than, and like a flake. We'd had to cancel small group at our house several times because we kept being contagious, and I just felt like everyone must be thinking I'm faking it, or trying to get out of it. Surely everyone hates me now and no one will want to come to small group ever again. 

She said two words, sort-of gently...

Stop it.

I'm pretty sure the burden left just as I received them. It could have been the cupcake, but I do think it was the words that changed me. [Although you should have seen these cupcakes.] She told me to stop caring so much about what others thought. 

So what? She said. 

So what if they judge you? So what if they think you're not healthy enough? So what if they think you don't eat organically enough? So what if they think you're a small group leader flake? 

I mean, I already had this head knowledge, but it's like it clicked in my heart. I suddenly remembered it was all about what God thought about me and how He knew me, and how He saw I was doing my best in this season of my life and not about pleasing the people around me.

We giggled a little over [I'm not sure this is Christian like] discussing what happens to those who judge. They will be judged themselves. You know--- what goes around comes around? Some call it Karma, but as a believer we believe in spiritual laws, like what happens when you judge others.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

For in the same way you judge others,

you will be judged,

and with the measure you use,

it will be measured to you.

-Matthew 7:1, 2

Really--most likely--my friends weren't judging me, and if they were--yikes for them. She said something really profound to me, she said, "What if you're just sick?" "What if you haven't done anything wrong, and you're not in trouble with God, and He's not against you, and it's not this huge attack and life isn't over, but what if y'all are just--- sick." 

I had been viewing this whole sickness as a report card for my ability, or lack there of, to shop and cook well enough, my ability to be healthy enough, my ability to be spiritual enough, to pray enough and so on.

Don't get me wrong, I think there's a lot of connection to how we eat and live and how we feel physically, but in this moment I felt so wrong. Like such a loser for catching yet another virus. She freed me up with the truth.

So, next time you're down on yourself because of what people might be thinking about you, do your self a favor and say, STOP IT. And next time someone seems to be in a position where it's super easy to judge them, STOP IT. You don't know--it might be their best, and even if it's not--it's none of your business. 

They already have an enemy and an entire kingdom against them--they don't also need you.

Just release yourself and others to not feel the weight of this worlds shame, and embrace it's a lot less worse than you think, and that God is for you, and not against you. Yes, you have room to improve and grow and change, but it doesn't completely define you, and it certainly shouldn't feel heavy and crappy.

You're awesome.

Don't think otherwise.

or STOP IT!

What God Said To Me

[source]

God has many names. 

In John 1, it tells us that God was the Word and the Word was God.

Clearly God likes to chat. After all, He invented it.

Something the Lord is continuing to teach me this month is that He's always speaking.

As I am experiencing a particularly difficult time right now I asked the Lord what He wanted to talk about and He said "fireflies". Okay Lord. Relationships are about intimacy, and intimacy is about communication, and communication is about understanding and understanding comes from questions. So, Lord, "What about fireflies?" 

He showed me a picture in my mind, of a field covered, and I mean covered, like nothing I'd ever seen before... even in a movies. The picture was a grassy meadow just covered in fireflies. I, being the faith-filled believer I am, quickly went to verify that this actually happens on Google. Sorry Lord. Ha, as it turns out, He did know what He was talking about. It does happen.

Later that day, I happen to over hear a song in the car by Owl City titled Fireflies. Subtle Lord, real subtle. The lyrics that resinated with me quickly were---

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

'Cause everything is never as it seems.

Everything is never as it seems.

Through both word, picture and song, the Lord comforted my heart this day reminding me that everything is never as it seems.

It seems like the Lord has forgotten me. 
It seems like there's not enough.
It seems like we're missing God.
It seems like a nightmare.

When really--- He'll cover a field in fireflies somewhere in the world and have them shoot it and upload the picture to google and play a song in my car if thats what it takes to remind me He's still here.

But the truth is---

The Lord has not forgotten me.
There is more than enough.
We're not missing God.
Knowing Him is an eternal dream I never have to wake up form.

I hope wherever you are today--- He sends you fireflies and songs to remind you, He's here with you.

Your Destiny Is In Your Family

Recently I went to hear Kris Vallotton speak at Bethel Atlanta Church and he told a story [which I'm sure to do no justice to] about a difficult season in his life when many things including finances were lacking.

[which coincidentally has described the last few months of our lives]

The story goes something like...one day he came home early from work to find the whole house completely dark and found three little tents set up in the living room that his kids were playing in. When he found his wife she explained that for months she has been shutting off the heat [and lights I believe] to save money while they were home during the day. She was just trying to do whatever she could to ease the burden as she knew how hard he was trying to rectify their financial crisis.

He said everyone should have a three little tents moment in their life.

A moment where you realize what it really feels like to be in covenant with someone. Not in convenient with someone, but in covenant. 

You know... those people in your life who do things like that. People who sacrifice, and lay their lives down for you, for better or for worse. Believe in you. Stand by you. 

Find those people. Be that person.

He posed the question--- "Who are your people?"

As a mom [and so are many of my readers] my "people" are my husband and my kids. It's not super glamourous. I'm not married to the president or running a ministry with thousands of employees. But the five people he's given me to--- they are my tribe. They are my people.

He encouraged us in a day where fame and position are portrayed as the ultimate mark of success to not end up... forsaking your family.

GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY he insisted.

Have your house in order first. Serve those in your house first. Make sure your little disciples [kiddos!] are getting the best of you and not the left overs. Lay down your life for your spouse. Fight for them. 

He walked us through the deep friendships of Jonathan and David and Ruth and Naomi. Which I will encourage you to dig deep into study yourself, but man, it was a good word. I hope it's a good reminder for you too.

I can say that we've spent a lot of the last 10 years of our relationship walking this out. Fighting for each other and our kids when it would have been very easy to walk away or pass a pill. We've had more three tent moments that I would care to remember, but it's covenant. 

He loves us this way.

Actually--- much more.

"Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. 

Your people are my people, your God is my god..." Ruth 1:16