Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Walk To Remember

Last night was one of those nights where I walked out of the house [to go walk] listening to all three kids fussing or crying as Charles was putting them to bed.

I turned around a few times and debated just staying in to keep cleaning, but I shut the door.

Outside at 8:30 PM a gorgeous sunset and musicir.gif on my iPod awaited me as began to lap my neighborhood over the next half hour. The quiet. The absence of fighting or disobedience. The non-mess-to-clean pavement. Sweating and exercise never seemed so appealing.

"Jesus..." I asked, "why is something so lovely [family] so draining?" 

[What am I doing wrong?]

Yes, the kids need to help around the house more and yes, we need to be more scheduled...

But what else am I missing?

That's when I believe I heard that my expectations were tripping me up. 

I expect, for whatever reason, that I'll wake up in the morning and all things will be quiet. There will be no need for me to train, discipline, or teach. There will be no messes for me to clean, and things will go as smoothly as if I was the one being catered to and taken care of. I must think that, even as foolish as it sounds because when I have to...

die to self
prepare a meal
cook a meal
clean up after a meal

I may not always complain with my lips, but I complain in my heart. "Why does this take so long" "Why does cooking make such a mess" "Why do I work so hard so that dinner can be so loud and chatoic" "Why doesn't this look like the movies?" "Why do the kids go to sleep and my work isn't done?"

I felt like the Lord reminded me on my walk, that life---isn't suppose to be easy. Life isn't lazy. Life isn't suppose to be one perfect event to another. 

Life is work. Life is serving. Life is others before yourself.

And in that life, there is reward, there is love. There is real life.

So another morning has come and cleaning and cooking and training awaits me, but I hope today I won't approach it all as if it's a shock and surprise "Why is this happening?" but approach it as part of---real life. This is what it is.

Where there is noise, when there is fighting, when there is hands [and bottoms] that need washing---it won't be inconvenient for me, it will be...my calling.

It's work, but it's rewarding.


  1. Love is a choice and when we choose to do each of the tasks that fill our days as a wife and mother with kindness, patience, self control...we are choosing to love, much easier said than done. I was just sharing with my 10 year old dd who was venting about the messes we have here today b/c we have 2 extra toddlers staying with us, how we should expect the messes, the exhaustion, the interruptions and prepare our heart for them, so when they come we meet them with grace instead of irritation. Hopefully I'll get a chance to blog on it later in the day or tomorrow. For now I better get back to chaos management. Hang in there! You are doing a great job. I promise it gets easier. Just LOVE that family God has blessed you with.

  2. SO true. Sometimes I think we expect too much from ourselves as mothers and from the rest of our family. Some days I have to keep reminding myself, "They are just children." and "My children are a blessing." Then one of them laughs or smiles and the lesson comes home. :)

  3. Well well well said Krista.

    Corri, i'm gonna start saying that!

  4. So needed to hear this today. Thank you!

  5. okay, now that I'm done sobbing... I need to thank you... I definitely woke up this morning and thought "WHY is this happening"... you have so more then the call to your family my friend, you seed His word into me all the time!!! Thank you as always, thank you thank you!



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