I feel it about to happen.
I'm about to lose patience and it's not going to be pretty. All the chatter I've been yapping about is all about to come out full blown in-your-face opposite day. Fruits of the...what? ...Spirit. Oh no, Mom's about to unleash a fleshly beast of displeasing-to-Jesus toddler fit---Mom style.
Here it comes.
You scream.
I scream.
You go up to your room.
I stand there in the kitchen recounting what just happen. Really? Was it worth it? Was it worth it to push through that lesson when you were just plain tired? Was it worth it to check that box off at the cost of marking a big X across love. Was it worth it to be so determined to stay on schedule, there is no time for calling it a day?
I failed. I'm sorry.
We resume.
You interrupt my reading to say, "Will you 'wegive' me for throwing a fit"? [forgive]
Relationships between children and their mothers can sometime be quite the battle of independence, irritation, irrational bickering, or just plain sleepiness. But there is nothing sweeter than both of you coming to the table, apologizing both for loosing your cool, and committing to turn your hearts toward the Lord for more.
More... patience. More... submission [you to me, and me to Him]. More... grace.
I knew better. I knew you were done, I knew it was a long day, I knew school at home today---wasn't going to happen pretty. To you, my sweet son, I am sorry. This you know because I already told you. Please help us Jesus when we're not practicing what we're teaching. Keep our hearts just as submissive to you as we expect of our children to keep submissive to us. Help us to listen to your voice, your wisdom and your--- "let it go, finish tomorrow".
Overwhelmed with gratitude for the beauty of repenting and instant mended moments.
I don't know what to say. You've made me cry. I pray that when my son gets older and we have our knock-down-blow-outs, I can be as gracious as you were to admit my guilt to my son and ask for forgiveness. I think Nation learned a lesson more valuable than anything you wrote on your board.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erica.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet, transparent and convicting post. I've always felt homeschooling is schooling to make moms holy as it brings us to a new level of dependence on Him. Schedules challenge me and I find myself suddenly compulsive to get it done, which is why I tend to only plan the night before and follow a loose routine more than a schedule. I read a really good article this week on how everything we teach our children is school learning time and book work is referred to as academics and is used to teach orderliness and diligence. Really hel
ReplyDeleteSorry, accidentally hit post before I finished. I was saying it helped remind me that everything we do everyday counts toward our childrens education. They learn diligence and orderliness as we train them to do chores. They learn social skills as we train how to treat and love their siblings. They learn meeting the needs of others as we bake cookies for a neighbor or visit the nursing home or watch a friends small children. They learn life skills and academic skills as they cook beside us, go with us to the grocery store and post office and library or help us with a menu or shopping list. You are doing a great job!
ReplyDeletei'm glad you posted this. i have wavered back and forth as to whether or not i want to home school my boys. my biggest issue would be patience. so it was nice to see your input.
ReplyDelete