I want to be whole. I want my kids to be whole. I want the whole world to be whole. Lately, I've just been thinking [well more than just lately really] about the world. For a season, God told Charles and I to really concentrate on making our relationship and our relationship with our kids whole. We're there. Okay, you can never "be there", but I feel like we're a really good place realtionally. God's made my little Nation's heart whole after he incurred some damage last year during our separation. God's got more restoration instore for the other boys and myself & Charles too I'm sure, but in general, I feel like we're in a good place. A cozy place...a peaceful lay-your-head-on-the-pillow and everything is okay place.
...as soon as the cool of the pillow case hits my cheek I start thinking about the others. Those a few houses away from me, those a few miles away from me, those thousands and thousands of miles away from me.
Even in all of our [Charles & I's] imperfection glory we at least knew The One who brings wholeness. And I know [although I think our life spends most of it's time trying to distract us otherwise] that there are men, women, and [Jesus help me] children out there that aren't whole. Or anything that is even close to that word.
Their tummies are empty, their hearts are fractured, their spirits are crushed, their innocence torn---they are like glass shattered on a dirty floor and I put my shoes on to walk over it so hearing their stories and seeing their faces doesn't inconvenience or hurt my well pedicured feet so much.
Writing about The Lost, The Broken, and the Poor isn't good for numbers, but it's good for my heart. It makes me feel whole. Close to Him who is whole.
The only thing keeping me from feeling personally whole right now is trying to figure out how this suburbia housewife and mother of 3 reaches those without wholeness in their life.
Waiting on you Lord. Send creative-tangiable-ideas soon.