Monday, February 21, 2011

What Tears Up My Heart

We've lived in this house since we got married. Our back porch screen has been broken and done away with, our sliding glass door replaced [Nation!], and I've lost track of how many times we've boughten new blinds for those windows that lead to the backyard. Seems like lately, the door & blinds have been holding up a little better. Could be that the boys are older now, could be that we were gone for 6 months. Either way, this tiny tear has been my favorite damage thus far. I don't know how or when it tore, but I love that it tore into the shape of a heart. When I walk in I look for it, and when we were away and would visit it welcomed me home.

People use the phrase..."it tears my heart up"

Lately, I've been meditating on what really tears my heart up in comparison to what tears His heart up. The gap between the two and my desire for them to be the same.

a few things that tear my heart up:

--a past that affects my present
--giving an account to God for how I spent my time & money
--a friendship wrecked in need of reconciliation
--the person I am and the person I hope to be one day
--the endless loads of laundry that are never put away
--children who have no mommy
--how quick I am to judge [& the reaping I face without repentance]
--the people at arms reach that need Him that I've overlooked
--children who are being abused right now
--breakthrough desperately for those who haven't seen it in too long

I'm so glad I'm not alone. I'm so glad my heart doesn't have to break alone. I'm so glad His heart was broken once and for all...for all. That more than I could even bare to imagine...He desperately wants unbroken hearts for those I know and those I'll never know. When I think of His heart broken...breaking..for us. I'm overwhelmed by His goodness. 

What is currently is tearing up your heart?


  1. You especially hit home with me with the wrecked friendship heartache. I also am experiencing that. For those beloved friends I lost, my heart weighs heavy praying for reconsciliation. They are such beautiful people and I so miss their smiles and friendship in my life.
    My heart also tears for my kids. Really my heart tears at the thought of anything lacking in their life. I just want to take Zion Judah and inisfree, hold them in my arms and never let them go! I want to protect them from the negative things of the world, the church, the devil.... Life in general. But I know that's not reality. So my heart aches that I want to give them the tools they need to successfully persevere in life through ups and downs and always come out on top, as the conquerers they are meant to be!

  2. Elizabeth...

    - children who are not loved. That is my big one. And teens who never knew love and don't understand what is missing.

    - not being able to protect my daughter from the evils of this world.

    - being complacent in my walk with Jesus and my time with him.

    - never quite accomplishing everything that needs to get done.

    - doing my best but never feeling like it's quite enough (in my eyes anyway).

    - figuring out how to love with a pure heart.

  3. Faith & Elizabeth, thanks for sharing your hearts

    Love y'all

  4. Agree about the ones you listed.
    Add on:
    Child trafficking, abortion, miscarriage, marriage affairs, all abuse (physical & verbal) to anyone, orphans, unsaved loved ones, children with serious illnesses, wanting to do and give more, but lacking the hours in the day to name a few.



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