What I [use to] Fear

Psalm 91

[You Capture Challenge]

You who sit down in the High God's presence, 

spend the night in Shaddai's shadow, 

   Say this: "God, you're my refuge. 

      I trust in you and I'm safe!" 

   That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps, 

      shields you from deadly hazards. 

   His huge outstretched arms protect you— 

      under them you're perfectly safe; 

      his arms fend off all harm. 

Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night, 

      not flying arrows in the day, 

   Not disease that prowls through the darkness, 

      not disaster that erupts at high noon. 

   Even though others succumb all around, 

      drop like flies right and left, 

      no harm will even graze you. 

   You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, 

      watch the wicked turn into corpses. 

Yes, because God's your refuge, 

      the High God your very own home, 

   Evil can't get close to you, 

      harm can't get through the door. 

   He ordered his angels 

      to guard you wherever you go. 

 If you stumble, they'll catch you; 

      their job is to keep you from falling. 

You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, 

      and kick young lions and serpents from the path. 

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, 

      "I'll get you out of any trouble. 

   I'll give you the best of care 

      if you'll only get to know and trust me. 

 Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; 

      I'll rescue you, then throw you a party. 

   I'll give you a long life, 

      give you a long drink of salvation!"

***

I often think about Psalm 91, verse 12 [NIV], "they [angels] will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." I wonder what life would be like if I really had faith for that...that my children wouldn't even strike their foot on a stone.

People often comment about how calm I am despite the craziness of my wild boys. Yes, they are wilder than most, but we like it that way.

[By the way I don't define wildness as
impoliteness or disobedience.] 

People question why I don't gasp and run every time they fall... or why I don't keep my eye on them every-second-of-the-day. I know some may think I'm lazy, a bad parent, or even reckless.

I'm doing my best to do my job by providing a safe, creative, and spirit-filled environment where they can explore, grow, and love, while allowing Him [and his angels] to do theirs.

I've come to terms with it. As much as I love them, I have no control over what happens to them, only He does. Yes, I honor him with my behavior [and watchfulness] over them, but really, it's the trust I have in Him to protect them that keeps them safe.

Do I ever hear the enemy tell me...?

i'll miscarry

deliver a stillborn

my kid will get cancer

they will fall and be permanently hurt

i'll wake up to a baby suffocated in it's crib

be kidnapped

be molested

run out in front of a car

Yes. I do.

But...

He's a liar. It's his native language. He spends his days telling me [and I'm sure you] all the awful things that could happen to us and our children, but what a mighty weapon God has given us. 

His Word. His promises.

I'm not comforted by my ability to run fast and catch them as they are about to fall off the swing set, or my ability to cut their hot dog pieces tiny enough, or my ability to have enough prenatal appointments, or my ability to watch my baby minute by minute through the video monitor, or even my health insurance [or lack there of].

I'm comforted that where I am weak, He is strong. 

Where I am slow or unaware, He already has it taken care of.

I'm not oblivious to the tragedies around me...nor am I insensitive to the sting they have brought my close friends & family [or even myself], but the histories of this world do not define my faith.

He does.

I believe Him. I believe his Word.

And that's what I live by.

Psalm 91