This Is My Holy

I remember the exact weekend I realized the Lord leading me to marry my now husband. I called my mom on the phone and said, “But how can I marry him? I think he wants lots of kids and wants to homeschool them! I’m called to travel and preach on stages!”

Since I was little I had seen visions of myself preaching on stages to thousands of people and now I was facing motherhood? I was finishing up my college degree at the time and had an incredible job at one of the world’s most famous Christian organizations. I was going places…but not with kids.

It took one movie to change my life. The Passion Of The Christ. No, I’m kidding, it was actually Cheaper By The Dozen. I saw that hot mess of a house and dirty kids running around and somehow---somehow---was in love with the idea. God had changed my heart. He showed me stages aren’t the only places the Gospel is preached.

I grew up thinking if you love Jesus with all your heart you travel and preach the Gospel on stages. You hold gatherings, not babies. Fast forward almost 10 years of marriage and four kids later and I'm not on a stage: I'm IN one.

In this stage I see the Gospel preached day in and day out. Let's face it, my two year old? She is NOT saved! My daily life gives me plenty of opportunities to preach Jesus to people--- specifically four little people… Nation, Solomon, Moses, and Heaven.

I’ve heard the call to being a stay at home mom. I’ve heard the call to homeschool my kids. Not because being a homeschool mom is a higher calling than a mom in the workplace or a mom on a stage, but because it was the call on my life.

I’m so glad I answered it.

Has it been tough? Yes. Impossible at times? Yes.

But has it been overwhelmingly beautiful as well? Absolutely.

I think one day we will still travel, and I think one day there may still be literal stages, but I want to live fully in the stage of today. I want to be completely content and joyfully present today. I know that the changing of diapers is just as spiritual and valuable to the Lord as the changing of medical dressings in a hospital and just as valuable as helping change a stranger's path from eternal death to enteral life by preaching the Gospel with words.

Someone has to do it. Someone has to answer to the call to love, comfort, and teach the next generation--- to the next evangelist or missionary or… mommy. After all, maybe the stages that will be preached on won’t be preached on by me, but rather by part of me--- my little disciples. I can imagine their voices echoing in a stadium.  

All the work we dedicate to the Lord is holy. Motherhood is holy. Staying at home is holy. Working outside the home is holy. Wherever God calls and we obey becomes holy.

I have had to put aside daydreams of where I would be now if I were still working for that organization while in college. I have had to give up a lot to be fully present in this season, but I believe I will reap a holy harvest. I know that my sacrifices (even if overlooked at times by my husband, or society, or my friends and family) are never overlooked by the Lord.

I have a lot of gifts and talents that may seem to have been better used outside the home, but for now, in the Lord's eyes, those talents are being used exactly as He planned. God has called me to use them in the home, and I am happy to do so.

Because He’s worthy.

So, be all in at whatever stage you're in. If he’s called you to be a stay at home mom… be there. If he’s called you to homeschool… be there. Be where He is. Be a missionary to your little disciples.  You don’t need an Instagram full of people hashtagging your preaching at conferences to prove you’ve served God well--- an Instagram full of playgrounds and math books will do… for now!

Show me your holy this week on IG #thisismyholy

2015 New Years Resolutions

I've been posting these on my blog for 5 years now. Apparently I'm still trying to lose 40 pounds, see below. #5thtimesacharm

1. Gospel Preached

In the businness of life, I can go days, weeks, or even months it feels like without sharing my faith. It's not a religious task I feel I'm neglecting, as much as it is a great joy to share about the Great Rescuer and I can't see how that's so easily forgotten. My resolution is to find more ways to allow for more encounters with the lost.

2. One Year Bible

I've done if several times before, but don't like to do the same schedule every year. Excited to have this structure back in my life this year. Probably will take advantage of the audio option on my phone a lot. 

3. Journal

Every year I want to journal more, but this year I want to specifically journal times when the Lord has shown Himself to me... little ways ...big ways ... or when He gives me a word [like a picture, scripture, prophetic, or from someone else].

4. How We Love Workbook

Charles and I read a book that really changed the way we addressed all relationship issues [marriage, family, child raising, friendships, etc]. and we purchased the workbook, but never completed it, it takes about two years to do so. I am hoping we spend several more nights this year going over the questions with one another and deepening our relationship. 

5. Teach Responsibility

As my boys are getting older, I am realizing more and more the importance of them becoming hard workers. Loving the Lord is the most important, and of course all the math and reading and history etc. is important, but what good does it do a adult who is full of knowledge, but won't work hard? I have enjoyed giving the boys extra chores and responsibilities this year [thank you Jesus for a slight break in ALL the chores], but looking forward to more character training and organization of it all. Not so much the process as the result, ha.

6. Disciple and Be Discipled

I would love more opportunities to pour my life into those around me, and am believing God for even more mentorship in my life this year as well. Few things make me as happy as speaking into women's lives. Life is hard, we have to encourage one another! 

7. Pray

Again, how can the most important things get lost so easily in my day? I talk to the Lord throughout the day, which is prayer, but specifically I want take more advantage of books that I own. I really believe in the power of confessing the truth out loud. 

8. Keep Shooting

This year has given me lots of wonderful opportunities to practice my love of photography. I got to shoot my first engagement, first wedding, first birth, many babies, and lots of families. I am resolved to keep learning and keep practicing. 

9. Scrapbook

I love love love to look over my scrapbooks from years past and see all the beautiful pictures of my family and everywhere the Lord has taken us... however, I do not love how little time I have to do it. I'm behind, which I know is normal, but I really want to prioritize getting caught up so I don't just quit! Jesus give me 25 hours a day this year.

10. Lose 40 pounds

Hey, it wouldn't be a resolution unless weight was on it. Oh dear, I lost about 15 pounds last year, hey, it's something. If I want to add another sweet baby to this family I have to get on with this resolution. I did manage to walk at 6 am with a friend everyday of the week for several months this fall until it got too cold. So motto... eat less, exercise more. Wish me luck. Or supernatural power.

Thirty

30 good decisions I've made to date

surrendering this short existence for a glorious eternity
attempting to be a authentic and vulnerable person
taking God's word literally
learning & practicing how to hear God's voice
learning & practicing how to walk in the gifts of the spirit
going to youth group
going to counseling and inner healing classes
going on mission trips
reading Redeeming Love
making and keeping best friends throughout my life
giving up tanning, fake nails, colored contacts, push up bras, and hair coloring
going to Kennesaw State University [and starting KGBS bible study]
being apart of a college group
always going to church
staying in a multitude of counsel
having mentors

marrying Charles
buying a house [and buying a second house]
building a self employed business

having kids ...and early in marriage ...and close together
keeping at it till i got a girl
homebirths

staying at home with my kids

homeschooling

working through hardships with family
joining and staying with a small group
learning how to use a camera

over photographing my life

giving the whole organic/natural life a chance

writing [by keeping a journal and writing a blog]

Your Destiny Is In Your Family

Recently I went to hear Kris Vallotton speak at Bethel Atlanta Church and he told a story [which I'm sure to do no justice to] about a difficult season in his life when many things including finances were lacking.

[which coincidentally has described the last few months of our lives]

The story goes something like...one day he came home early from work to find the whole house completely dark and found three little tents set up in the living room that his kids were playing in. When he found his wife she explained that for months she has been shutting off the heat [and lights I believe] to save money while they were home during the day. She was just trying to do whatever she could to ease the burden as she knew how hard he was trying to rectify their financial crisis.

He said everyone should have a three little tents moment in their life.

A moment where you realize what it really feels like to be in covenant with someone. Not in convenient with someone, but in covenant. 

You know... those people in your life who do things like that. People who sacrifice, and lay their lives down for you, for better or for worse. Believe in you. Stand by you. 

Find those people. Be that person.

He posed the question--- "Who are your people?"

As a mom [and so are many of my readers] my "people" are my husband and my kids. It's not super glamourous. I'm not married to the president or running a ministry with thousands of employees. But the five people he's given me to--- they are my tribe. They are my people.

He encouraged us in a day where fame and position are portrayed as the ultimate mark of success to not end up... forsaking your family.

GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY he insisted.

Have your house in order first. Serve those in your house first. Make sure your little disciples [kiddos!] are getting the best of you and not the left overs. Lay down your life for your spouse. Fight for them. 

He walked us through the deep friendships of Jonathan and David and Ruth and Naomi. Which I will encourage you to dig deep into study yourself, but man, it was a good word. I hope it's a good reminder for you too.

I can say that we've spent a lot of the last 10 years of our relationship walking this out. Fighting for each other and our kids when it would have been very easy to walk away or pass a pill. We've had more three tent moments that I would care to remember, but it's covenant. 

He loves us this way.

Actually--- much more.

"Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. 

Your people are my people, your God is my god..." Ruth 1:16

I Do Hard Things

Havilah Cunnington.

I had never heard of her, and maybe you haven't either, but I'm about to recommend her bible study, "I Do Hard Things" to you because she's awesome sauce.

She recently came to our church for a conference all the way from Redding, CA [Bethel Church] and I immediately liked her. She's hilarious, straight forward, but still brings the truth drenched in love.

Let's be real, anyone who has 4 little kids like myself, I worship with reverent understanding of their daily toil. Say all you want about your 5 hour alone time coffee, 4 bible translations and journals spread about on a Monday morning... but tell me you're still following Jesus after keeping 4 boys under 5 alive and I'm all ears.

Probably my favorite quote from the weekend was...

"Most days I met God between the washer and the dryer" #shehadmeatlaundry #momlife #realtalk

Or maybe it was when she said "We've had 4 kids in 5 years... Now we don't kiss, we don't hug, and we definitely don't get in hot tubs anymore." #shewasjoking #dontbeoffended

If you're looking for a very very very practical bible study on how to deal with and heal from the things life throws at us, I highly recommend this to you. Here's just a few nuggets I took away front the weekend...

• Hard things happen to all of us. Some we ask for by our poor choices and some just happen to us [we didn't do anything to deserve them]. Understand the difference. Don't confuse the two. 

• We all have a "yard" God holds us responsible for caring for. Boundaries are crucial to keeping the things in your yard [marriage, children, career, ministry, etc] thriving and alive. Lack of boundaries is often a sign of disobedience. You can't change others trying to get into your yard, or control your yard, but you can change how much exposure you have to those people.

• It doesn't matter that you fail, it's how you deal with your failure. Repent quickly, and stop rehearsing what you did...He knows. Take the file out of the "failure" folder and put it in the "forgiven & learned from" folder.

Let me close with this. It's the only bible study I've probably completed since having 4 kids.

It was the perfect amount of homework and depth. There is a video series you can purchase to go along with it, but she also has a youtube channel where she does a daily video to correspond with each day.

2014 Resolutions

I have been writing my resolutions down publicly for a few years now. [See 2011, 2012, 2013 here] It's almost tempting to stop because it seems like so many are not accomplished, but then again I think some are frankly just because I wrote them down and it reminded me to go after them. Example... We attempted to try 13 new restaurants this year and we came pretty darn close mainly just because I had a goal I was trying to acheive. Others like lose 50 pounds fell short about... 100% ha ha. The first resolution may have greatly effected the second.

I was doing 11 for 2011, and 12 for 2012 and 13 for 2013, you get the picture, but for 2014 I decided to do it old school and go back to the wonderful number 10. So just 10 this year guys. Probably 7 to miss and 3 to hit dead on, but still--- attempting.

1. Lose 60 pounds
That's right. Pre-four-babies-weight. I did 4 months of three days a week personal training last year and didn't lose a pound even though I lost some inches. That was discouraging. I want to make another baby this year and shouldn't be trying that being so overweight and unhealthy if I want to continue low risk homebirths. So I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do this, but in the past tracking my calories and exercising regularly does the majority of the trick. Going to bed earlier helps, Ha. I'm almost done nursing Heaven so that should help too. I'm assuming this will take me half if not most of the year to safely accomplish. But I'm open to miracles. And magic wands.

2. Go on 12 double dates with 12 different couples
I want to be intentional about going deeper with people this year. So, friends I already have as well as getting to know some new ones. I'm looking forward to making a point to say "hey, you two, let's grab some dinner and get to know each other." I love making new friends... and even getting to know old friends better. And I love food. Oh geez, this isn't helping resolution #1.

3. Once a month dates with each boy
Heaven and I already spend a lot of one on one time together, but it's hard to get one on one time with each boy for very long around here since they are always playing together. I started this last year and didn't do it often enough. I look forward to making a special date---of their choice---and just enjoying just them. Last year I was amazed at how much they talked my ear off---guess it's hard to get a word in with 3 other siblings everyday.

4. Get better at photography
This is one resolution I had last year that I actually accomplished. I did take a class and practice a lot. Took pictures of a few babies, children, and one family. Loved growing in this area and look forward to more growth.

5. Create and stick to a responsibility chart for the kids
This includes chores, brushing teeth, and vitamins. They kids do help me every day around the house, but I've never made and stuck with anything that they have come to expect and know as routine. Thus, I tend to get lots of grumblings when I "unexpectedly" ask them for help. I know this is all part of the training years and lots of character that is lacking, but I do think if they knew they were always responsible for XYZ on Monday, for example, they would grumble maybe a smidge less.

6. Read 6 Books
I usually have this on my list, and although tempted to put 12, I know realistically with ladies bible study at church homework and our small group how we love reading and homework I'll already be maxed out. I do love reading... I just haven't figured out quiet how to do as much of it with 4 kids as I did when I was single, ha. I want to read Daring Greatly, How We Love Our Kids, and Love Does, not sure about the other ones just yet.

7. Disciple one friend & Lead one family member to the Lord
I these people in mind. But I will take dozens and hundreds more of friends, family and strangers for the Kingdom if you will it Lord!

8. Get my prayer life organized
I've never successfully being organized with my prayer life since having kids, but I really want to again. Although spirit led and "drive-by" prayers work. I know things fall through the cracks. I'm thinking about resurrecting the good old prayer binder with the divider tabs for different sections of my life that need attention. This is a long shot, but I hope it happens!

9. Lead our small group well
This past year, leading a small group has been one of the greatest blessings. I have so enjoyed doing this with my husband and getting to know practically 8 other couples from scratch. My desire this year is to pray for one couple every day of the week, and be intentional about setting up double dates, and playdates, and guys & girls nights, etc. Just really forming a deeper community to listen and serve one another.

10. Write weekly
I say this the last few years too, but with homeschooling and adding a child, and leading a small group, etc etc. Life never seems to slow down. I enjoy writing and I think most of the time, others enjoy my writing too. I love when God uses me to encourage someone through my real life mom fail day stories. I love anytime I can make someone laugh too. I haven't started teaching Nation grammar yet, but maybe eventually my writing won't be so painful to the comma police either. Either way, I want to try to make time for me to sit and write what's on my heart to share with others. In the form of blogging I suppose...

Q&A "Do You Sleep Train?"

I don't pretend to have all the answers, or that I would repeat everything I've done, but to date---I do have 4 children who sleep 11/12 hours through the night now and did as infants. Now...toddlers and naps [that's a whole other post!]

If you want to know "how I do it" continue reading...

EAT PLAY SLEEP

They all have different personalities, and levels of difficulty, but somehow they all sleep from about 8 pm till 7 or 8 am most days. It isn't normal for them to get in bed with us, or wake up super early, although the early wake ups do happen on occasion. Either way, we do try to enforce a pretty tight routine so that a) Charles and I can have personal quiet time together and b) we can slept 7-8 hours a night so that we can properly [and patiently] attend to them every day. Especially me.

Right after I had Nation [my oldest], someone handed me Baby Wise. I was too exhausted to read it all the way through [and still haven't], but I skimmed over it and feel like I gleaned the main points. Eat Play Sleep. Which, I do agree, is the way most babies [and children] function.

EAT-As far as I understand it, if you want to schedule [strictly or loosely] your child it starts with feeding times. For example, my 3 month old eats about every 3-4 hours. So If I nurse her at 7:30am, she will eat for a half hour, then "play" for a half hour, going down at 8:30am then sleep for 2-3 hours, waking up to eat around 11:30am. More or less. I did nurse to sleep [few minutes] some of my kids, but some, like Heaven can just be happily laid down and fall asleep on their own within a few minutes. Feedings were more frequent when she was younger and I'm willing to feed slightly more often, but not every few minutes.

PLAY-I am purposeful in my "play" part to properly wear them out both mentally and physically. As infants I will try to make a lot of eye contact, talk to them a lot, provide toys for them to play with, and carry them around. I don't know if baby wearing [or holding] has anything to do with it, but I do attempt to hold my infants as much as possible since their season for needing [and wanting] to be held is really short in the scheme of things. I do put them down if I have to attend to something, but I do try to wear [or hold] them as much as I can.When they start to fuss or whine I know "it's time".

SLEEP-I use a box fan for noise, shades for darkness, a sleep sack for safety, and a light up toy in bed for noise and entertainment while they fall asleep. Usually I just lay them down and they will fall asleep on their own within a few minutes. Obviously a child who sucks their fingers or thumb [Heaven] is easier than a child [Nation & Moses] who used a passey and they can't keep it in or it keeps falling out until they are older.

CRYING IT OUT

The big question right? When Nation was born, we let him sleep with us and next to us in the bassinet. When he outgrew it [started rolling over!], we moved him over to his crib [around a month]. So, you go lay them down and what do they do? They cry. Someone told us to just let them "cry it out". So, we did. I sat, also crying, by the baby monitor for a longer period of time than I care to share, and then he fell asleep. He was clean, full and only wanted me to hold him while he slept. I think he did this two or three nights and then rarely ever again, especially for any real length of time. He seemed to have quickly "trained" himself to realize he wasn't getting picked up. My other three children we did the same thing with, but all of them trained even quicker and with a shorter cry time. I chalk this up to personality and stamina.

NIGHT FEEDINGS

I suppose I should clarify, that I do allow breast feedings through the night when they wake for them [as long as they are spread out and not every few minutes]. For example, if my baby [teething/sick/healthy] wanted to nurse at 12, 3, 6, and 9 am. I would. Honestly, it didn't bother me. I would nurse laying down and then go put them back in their bed and hardly miss a wink of sleep. I didn't feel comfortable letting them "cry it out" if I thought they were actually hungry. If it was just to be held I didn't feel as guilty. Obviously the younger they are the more likely they were to wake up more often, the older they got the less likely they "needed" another feeding. And when they did I figured it was because they were sick, teething or growing.

The first two kids probably would have slept all night, but I used the nightly nursings also to help me from ovulating for 12 months. The last two kids I didn't wake them up at night to nurse them, and they slept all night most nights and some nights they woke for one, or several feedings. Even now, Heaven at 3 months, will sleep 12 hours straight some nights [ouch breasts!] and others nurse a time or two. For me it works. As long as they will nurse laying down while I sleep and I can go put them back in their bed afterwards and they go right back to sleep it's a win-win for both of us. Changing diapers, fussing, or rustling next to me in bed don't work for our family middle of the night [unless they are newborns].

COMFORT

Here's where I might be changing what I think. I'm currently reading a book How We Love and although it's on marriage, it talks in depth about the comfort [or lack there of] we received as a child and how that ends up affecting the rest of our adulthood relationships. I haven't really made up my mind yet, but I'm beginning to lean towards maybe feeling slightly more guilty for letting them "cry it out" so much. I don't think the concept is entirely bad, but maybe in need of a more balanced approach. Maybe we are putting an unnatural pressure on the babies [and ourselves] to have them sleep a certain cookie-cutter-way. Maybe.

I believe "fetuses", infants and children are all 100% persons. I don't think they start feeling the spiritual, emotional and physical affects of this world at some point in adolescents, I believe it starts earlier than we want to believe. Thus, I believe the way we treat those in our womb, or in our arms, can make great impressions upon them later in life.

So, I'm questioning... did those, although, few times, of letting them "cry it out" hurt them in any way? I'd like to think it didn't much, but I wonder.

BALANCE

For me, I want to leave you with one word at the end of this post, it's...balance. Like I said before, I never followed Baby Wise to a T and if I felt like I needed to go in and pick them up mid "crying it out" and comfort them, then I did. So my advice to you is...

1-Hear from the Lord because every child, parent and family is different. What worked for one family, or child may or may not work for you.

2-Comfort them when you hear the Holy Spirit telling you to. Just now even, I laid Heaven down and she would normally go right to sleep watching her sea horse light up and sing to her, but she didn't. I waited a few minutes, and then went up held her spoke to her, and reassured her for just a few minutes and I can now hear that she's asleep. Tell them [even if they don't understand it] "You are safe" "You are loved" You are not abandoned" Etc

3-Pray for them when you lay them down. Pray things like "Peace" "Security" "Angels all around you" Etc

4-I suggest finding something that helps you sleep. I know that I will probably never chose to "comfort" [stay awake with all night] one child for months at the expense of not sleeping at night. Regardless, my other 3 will be up at 7 am, so if my infant and I hang out all night for months and months and never get on any schedule or common compromise no one is winning. Mommy will be nice to one child, while being mean to all the rest of them, and ruining her marriage.

5-Don't be afraid to do something for the greater good. If it's a few minutes of crying it out, or a few mintues of singing, or a few minutes of nursing, or a few hours of co-sleeping. Be willing to do whatever it takes. Because not sleeping has a domino affect on my marriage and relationships and responsibilities to the other children. Don't ignore this truth.

SLEEP IS IMPORTANT FOR THE MOMMY!

I don't know about you, but I feel crazy, impatient and hate the world when I don't sleep [for long periods of time]. So read, ask, pray, try, but most importantly find something that helps you sleep and makes your child healthy. Children need sleep. If your child thinks they don't, ask God for wisdom to show you how to help them do so. He will answer you. Specifically for your child.

13 Resolutions for 2013

I literally just exhaled starting this post. I'm exiting a difficult year and entering a new year with great hope and anticipation. [And a female offspring!] Last year wasn't a year to really focus on my hobbies like photography, blogging, and scrapbooking. It was a year to focus on my marriage and carrying for our new child [both in womb and then outside]. Marriage restoration is on the upswing and my little piece Heaven is already 3 months old.

Looking back over my new years resolutions of 2011 and 2012, there really is little reason to make a new list because those lists still encompass my "To-Be" list. It's hard for someone like me who is such a "To-Do" lister to pause and remember it's not just about doing, but it's about being. Once again I reach for those things that I know would bring glory to God this year. One of those not being grammar. Sorry, maybe when I start teaching that such stuff to Nation I will learn how to properly form sentences and spell words...until then, apologizes for another year of blog posts driving you crazy.

1. One Year Bible with my husband [I love the OYB and have done several times, but this year for the first time I'll be doing with my husband!]

2. Prioritize hearing God's voice [listen more!]

3. Be generous [I want to be known as a generous person in time & money---I want to truly enjoy giving more than receiving]

4. Champion a cause that echos God's heart [I have always been fond of the works of Passion, but love their heart for ending slavery for the 27 million still in it]

5. Try 13 new restaurants [in the greater Atlanta area with my husband on date nights]

6. Hug, hold, play and speak encouragement into my kids [even more...look for ways!]

7. Lose 50 pounds [first part of the year I'm focusing on exercise until Heaven is nursing less, then Weight Watchers again]

8. Learn how to use my camera more [I have some books, videos, and online resources I want to make more use of]

9. Blog again [that's right, not just post photos or late Thankful Thursdays, but actually write---encouraging moms hopefully world wide]

10. Family & Friends get saved [Pray & be available...I want to see some of those lost in my life come to know Jesus!]

11. Learn to sew? [this is a stretch, but maybe now that I have a girl it's about time!]

12. Conquer meal planning & cooking [For the zillionth year in a row I desire to cook more regularly...this may be more of a stretch that sewing]

13. Read more [12 books a year turned out to be 6 last year, not too shabby, trying for 12 books again]

What are you resolutions?

Five Things That Make or Break Your Day

Five Things

1. Jesus

2. Relationships

3. Sleep

4. Nutrition

5. Exercise

I know this isn't rocket science, and we all already "know" this, but man if only knowing was enough. Putting priorities into practice at times does seem like a science. [Did I mention I was a Communication major?] #dislikescience

When there is stress in my life, or things seem out of control I can usually narrow them down to 5 categories. I've never put pencil to paper [or in this case keys to screen], but in my mind I often know---there are 5 reasons why I'm upset...and I could have prevented all of them.

The reason I'm yelling is because...I've not met with Peace today.

The reason I'm feeling down is because...I haven't invested this week in anyone, but myself.

The reason I'm short with the kids is because...I stayed up too late watching TV last night.

The reason I don't feel good about myself is because...I ate junk food all day.

The reason I'm so fatigued doing housework is because...I haven't been regularly working out.

In the moment, it feels like it's "life's" fault. Like a series of events is all to blame for my stressed out-overly tired-depressing-never-ending-overwhelming day, but really, most of the time it's not because the world has fallen apart---just my priorities. And when your priorities fall apart, in a way, your world does. At least for me.

I'm not interested in self-help and I certainty am not trying to "fix" your life. This post [or any for that matter] don't have the "power" to change your life, but He does. I'm by no means fixed myself, but I've just really been trying to be mindful that it's not worth pretending it's outside circumstances that get me down, but that it's a lot of decisions I could make better.

My only advice for you is that you pray. Pray next time you find yourself down or being short with someone and ask..."did I have anything to do with this?" Is it possible this attitude isn't just "happening to me", but I made some bad choices this week/yesterday/today that have brought me to this point.

Pray that He'd make you mindful of them. Pray that He'll show you how---so that---you might enjoy Him, others and yourself more during our brief time here on earth.

It's simple. It isn't rocket science, unless...we try to do it...without Him.

Do Something Now for My Birthday

The summer before my Senior year in college I had the amazing opportunity to intern for Passion Conferences. You might have been to one of their conferences or own some music from one of their artists [Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Kristian Stanfill & Charlie Hall]. I was one of the 14 staff members at the time. It was small enough to get to know...they are the real deal. I still stay in personal contact with a few of their staff and continue to trust [and cheer!] on their causes.

I felt like this year for my birthday instead of asking for more stuff, I'd like to ask for donations to dosomethingnow.com

Read below for more information about this awesome movement...

Do Something Now is a part of Passion Conferences, a global movement of students seeking to make Jesus famous in this generation. Passion Conferences operates under the umbrella of [Choice Ministries Inc.] a recognized 501 C-3 organization. All gifts to Do Something Now are tax deductible.

At Do Something Now, we are serious about stewardship. We greatly value your financial gift, whether big or small, and promise to use your donation in the most effective way possible. We have carefully chosen our partner organizations and consistently follow up with them to ensure that your gift is being used to address the cause or similar cause as you have so generously given toward. In 2011, 87 percent of all donations received will go directly to our partner organizations to make an immediate impact in communities across the globe.

You can read more specifically about their causes below here.

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Let me know what I got! Thanks!

Mommy Martyrdom

---Ever tell yourself?---

Be selfless

Put your kids first

Put your husband first

Stop thinking about yourself

It's so self centered to want alone time

You aren't pleasing the Lord when you're so needy

Give of yourself more

Support your husband

Let your husband do the things that make him happy

It makes the kids happy

You can have alone time later in life

This isn't your season for personal time

Be thankful you get to stay at home

Stop asking for more

Think about what is best for everyone else

You don't need it

---Remember---

"So He Himself Often Withdrew into the wilderness and prayed"

-Luke 5:16

[If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.]

Clearly the bible tells us that we're to be selfless and put others first, but it never says to do so at the expense of running yourself into the ground. It is possible to put out so much and never put in...to the point of emptiness. 

Where there is nothing left to give...

To your husband

To your kids

To your family

To your friends

To the world

---Solution---

Stop being a Mommy Martyr.

Stop listening to the lies [out of context] listed above. 

Stop accepting that being a wife and mother = you completely lose yourself

I'm not talking feminism here. I'm not talking selfishness. I'm talking loving your husband and family so much so you're unwilling to give them any less than your best. And realizing you don't function your best when you're starved. How can you feed them if you've had nothing to eat yourself? Didn't the Lord himself, go away and spend time with the Father so He could feed us? We didn't call Him selfish for always "having to have alone time". We didn't criticism him for "putting him before us".

---Plan---

Talk to the Lord, tell him you need some time with just Him

Talk to your husband, tell him you need some time all-by-yourself

EVERYDAY

Yes, I said it. Everyday.

---Solution---

If getting up early [and loosing the lack of sleep you probably already had] is your preference, go for it, enjoy it...soak Him up.

But, for the rest of us, I believe there is another solution. In as much as it is possible, I suggest finding a consistent [as dinner!] solution to having daddy help everyday at some point so that mommy can slip away for

 ...15 ...30 ...45 ...60 minutes and just be with Him.

No kids waking up up early in the morning

No one getting out of their bed early from nap

No one needing something from you

No one pulling on you

No one watching you

No one talking to you

No dishes to stare at or laundry that needs folding

Just you and Him.

If it's your car, the backyard, a closet, Starbucks, or a room in your house.

Just Go.

Start making you a priority again.

Start taking care of you again.

Start spending time with Him again.

A wise husband delights in giving his wife time and space to be with her Maker, especially not at the cost of her sleep or attention.

We've been doing this for a few months, and it's doesn't always happen, but it happens more than it doesn't. After dinner, Charles has some one-on-one time with the boys in the evening and I slip away to be alone. I don't alway study the Word, sometimes I'm just alone. Whatever refreshes my spirit I do. Then I jump back in and have family time before putting the kids to bed and having alone time with Charles. Maybe it's not for everyone, but it's made a real difference for our family. I feel like I have time to myself and I didn't have to wake up before everyone or stay up after everyone to get it.

Well this is my opinion anyway, but you are on my blog, so that's what you get.

Do you have alone time? How does that work [not work] in your family?

---

[ Praying your family finds an explosion of spiritual blessings & peace as you put back into yourself.]