2015 New Years Resolutions

I've been posting these on my blog for 5 years now. Apparently I'm still trying to lose 40 pounds, see below. #5thtimesacharm

1. Gospel Preached

In the businness of life, I can go days, weeks, or even months it feels like without sharing my faith. It's not a religious task I feel I'm neglecting, as much as it is a great joy to share about the Great Rescuer and I can't see how that's so easily forgotten. My resolution is to find more ways to allow for more encounters with the lost.

2. One Year Bible

I've done if several times before, but don't like to do the same schedule every year. Excited to have this structure back in my life this year. Probably will take advantage of the audio option on my phone a lot. 

3. Journal

Every year I want to journal more, but this year I want to specifically journal times when the Lord has shown Himself to me... little ways ...big ways ... or when He gives me a word [like a picture, scripture, prophetic, or from someone else].

4. How We Love Workbook

Charles and I read a book that really changed the way we addressed all relationship issues [marriage, family, child raising, friendships, etc]. and we purchased the workbook, but never completed it, it takes about two years to do so. I am hoping we spend several more nights this year going over the questions with one another and deepening our relationship. 

5. Teach Responsibility

As my boys are getting older, I am realizing more and more the importance of them becoming hard workers. Loving the Lord is the most important, and of course all the math and reading and history etc. is important, but what good does it do a adult who is full of knowledge, but won't work hard? I have enjoyed giving the boys extra chores and responsibilities this year [thank you Jesus for a slight break in ALL the chores], but looking forward to more character training and organization of it all. Not so much the process as the result, ha.

6. Disciple and Be Discipled

I would love more opportunities to pour my life into those around me, and am believing God for even more mentorship in my life this year as well. Few things make me as happy as speaking into women's lives. Life is hard, we have to encourage one another! 

7. Pray

Again, how can the most important things get lost so easily in my day? I talk to the Lord throughout the day, which is prayer, but specifically I want take more advantage of books that I own. I really believe in the power of confessing the truth out loud. 

8. Keep Shooting

This year has given me lots of wonderful opportunities to practice my love of photography. I got to shoot my first engagement, first wedding, first birth, many babies, and lots of families. I am resolved to keep learning and keep practicing. 

9. Scrapbook

I love love love to look over my scrapbooks from years past and see all the beautiful pictures of my family and everywhere the Lord has taken us... however, I do not love how little time I have to do it. I'm behind, which I know is normal, but I really want to prioritize getting caught up so I don't just quit! Jesus give me 25 hours a day this year.

10. Lose 40 pounds

Hey, it wouldn't be a resolution unless weight was on it. Oh dear, I lost about 15 pounds last year, hey, it's something. If I want to add another sweet baby to this family I have to get on with this resolution. I did manage to walk at 6 am with a friend everyday of the week for several months this fall until it got too cold. So motto... eat less, exercise more. Wish me luck. Or supernatural power.

Stop it

A few weeks ago we went through a sickness rough patch. The kind where there's 6 of you and so when one of you gets sick you have to wait 24...48...72 hours before being around other people. But the clock keeps starting over and the sickness keep morphying and spreading [again!] among your offspring. 

You're welcome I'm sparing you the details, but needless to say we were house bound for a long time and cabin fever [and guilt] were settling in hard. A sweet friend came over with soup, watermelon, cupcakes a little something else. No it wasn't wine. Ha. 

That "little something else" was her releasing me from the sick weighing burden of feeling guilty for being so sick a lot  recently. Sounds strange, but I definitely felt judged, less than, and like a flake. We'd had to cancel small group at our house several times because we kept being contagious, and I just felt like everyone must be thinking I'm faking it, or trying to get out of it. Surely everyone hates me now and no one will want to come to small group ever again. 

She said two words, sort-of gently...

Stop it.

I'm pretty sure the burden left just as I received them. It could have been the cupcake, but I do think it was the words that changed me. [Although you should have seen these cupcakes.] She told me to stop caring so much about what others thought. 

So what? She said. 

So what if they judge you? So what if they think you're not healthy enough? So what if they think you don't eat organically enough? So what if they think you're a small group leader flake? 

I mean, I already had this head knowledge, but it's like it clicked in my heart. I suddenly remembered it was all about what God thought about me and how He knew me, and how He saw I was doing my best in this season of my life and not about pleasing the people around me.

We giggled a little over [I'm not sure this is Christian like] discussing what happens to those who judge. They will be judged themselves. You know--- what goes around comes around? Some call it Karma, but as a believer we believe in spiritual laws, like what happens when you judge others.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

For in the same way you judge others,

you will be judged,

and with the measure you use,

it will be measured to you.

-Matthew 7:1, 2

Really--most likely--my friends weren't judging me, and if they were--yikes for them. She said something really profound to me, she said, "What if you're just sick?" "What if you haven't done anything wrong, and you're not in trouble with God, and He's not against you, and it's not this huge attack and life isn't over, but what if y'all are just--- sick." 

I had been viewing this whole sickness as a report card for my ability, or lack there of, to shop and cook well enough, my ability to be healthy enough, my ability to be spiritual enough, to pray enough and so on.

Don't get me wrong, I think there's a lot of connection to how we eat and live and how we feel physically, but in this moment I felt so wrong. Like such a loser for catching yet another virus. She freed me up with the truth.

So, next time you're down on yourself because of what people might be thinking about you, do your self a favor and say, STOP IT. And next time someone seems to be in a position where it's super easy to judge them, STOP IT. You don't know--it might be their best, and even if it's not--it's none of your business. 

They already have an enemy and an entire kingdom against them--they don't also need you.

Just release yourself and others to not feel the weight of this worlds shame, and embrace it's a lot less worse than you think, and that God is for you, and not against you. Yes, you have room to improve and grow and change, but it doesn't completely define you, and it certainly shouldn't feel heavy and crappy.

You're awesome.

Don't think otherwise.

or STOP IT!

Thirty

30 good decisions I've made to date

surrendering this short existence for a glorious eternity
attempting to be a authentic and vulnerable person
taking God's word literally
learning & practicing how to hear God's voice
learning & practicing how to walk in the gifts of the spirit
going to youth group
going to counseling and inner healing classes
going on mission trips
reading Redeeming Love
making and keeping best friends throughout my life
giving up tanning, fake nails, colored contacts, push up bras, and hair coloring
going to Kennesaw State University [and starting KGBS bible study]
being apart of a college group
always going to church
staying in a multitude of counsel
having mentors

marrying Charles
buying a house [and buying a second house]
building a self employed business

having kids ...and early in marriage ...and close together
keeping at it till i got a girl
homebirths

staying at home with my kids

homeschooling

working through hardships with family
joining and staying with a small group
learning how to use a camera

over photographing my life

giving the whole organic/natural life a chance

writing [by keeping a journal and writing a blog]

I Do Hard Things

Havilah Cunnington.

I had never heard of her, and maybe you haven't either, but I'm about to recommend her bible study, "I Do Hard Things" to you because she's awesome sauce.

She recently came to our church for a conference all the way from Redding, CA [Bethel Church] and I immediately liked her. She's hilarious, straight forward, but still brings the truth drenched in love.

Let's be real, anyone who has 4 little kids like myself, I worship with reverent understanding of their daily toil. Say all you want about your 5 hour alone time coffee, 4 bible translations and journals spread about on a Monday morning... but tell me you're still following Jesus after keeping 4 boys under 5 alive and I'm all ears.

Probably my favorite quote from the weekend was...

"Most days I met God between the washer and the dryer" #shehadmeatlaundry #momlife #realtalk

Or maybe it was when she said "We've had 4 kids in 5 years... Now we don't kiss, we don't hug, and we definitely don't get in hot tubs anymore." #shewasjoking #dontbeoffended

If you're looking for a very very very practical bible study on how to deal with and heal from the things life throws at us, I highly recommend this to you. Here's just a few nuggets I took away front the weekend...

• Hard things happen to all of us. Some we ask for by our poor choices and some just happen to us [we didn't do anything to deserve them]. Understand the difference. Don't confuse the two. 

• We all have a "yard" God holds us responsible for caring for. Boundaries are crucial to keeping the things in your yard [marriage, children, career, ministry, etc] thriving and alive. Lack of boundaries is often a sign of disobedience. You can't change others trying to get into your yard, or control your yard, but you can change how much exposure you have to those people.

• It doesn't matter that you fail, it's how you deal with your failure. Repent quickly, and stop rehearsing what you did...He knows. Take the file out of the "failure" folder and put it in the "forgiven & learned from" folder.

Let me close with this. It's the only bible study I've probably completed since having 4 kids.

It was the perfect amount of homework and depth. There is a video series you can purchase to go along with it, but she also has a youtube channel where she does a daily video to correspond with each day.

A Sandy Month

Our month started out with a family beach trip [with a day of Disney thrown in] and ended with a girls only [my 5 Beth Moore table Amiga's] beach trip. Lot of packing, driving, and sand. Oh, but I love the beach. Even if it's the second year in a row I've gotten "bitten" by a sea shell, got an infection and had to see a Dr for antibiotics. Even then. I have just humbly accepted I now get to accompany my swim dress next year with water shoes. Even my doctor agreed...they are dorky. However, cheaper than a Dr visit. #Jesuscomebacksoon

Aren't you glad I didn't post a picture of the foot infection? That was a special privilege for my IG friends.

I would say this month the theme was---No one has it all together. Even though I know this...I forget this. Am I alone? God highlighted to me how important honesty, venerability, and transparency are. But also reminded me not everyone does this. What you see on social media, or even what they tell you out of their own mouth may be a Candy Land version of their home life. And what does it matter anyways? You're already God's favorite so stop trying so hard to be better than so and so and feel better after you tear her down. #guilty

You win. You're awesome, no one else is. Are you happy now? No. That's dumb.

God showed me to cheer when friends have victories I don't have. To ask for prayer [and advice] when they have something I'd love to have [weight loss!] and present myself to my friends as "not having it all together".

Honesty sets others free.

Sugar coating, puffing up, hiding the mess, skipping over the real...just leads to everyone else striving towards something unrealistic.

There are two types of people. Those who pee in the ocean and those who say they don't. Everyone is a mess, especially those who don't say they are. So embrace your messiness...you've got a clean God!

New Beginnings

I love the beginning of a week, I love the beginning of month, and as if nothing else could top today off more--- [no not the 105 high temps] it just so happens to be the beginning of the second half of the year.

Sunday, July 1.

I don't feel like a public forum, or still being this close to it all is the best time to share, but it's sufficient to say this has been the hardest year of my life to date. I'm not going to lie, I am a bit of an over exaggerator, but I assure you my best friends & family could attest to the fact that I am not over exaggerating this. I know that leaves you asking a lot of questions, or worrying a little, but I'm sure in time I will share.

All I know is that I feel like today might be the beginning of the end of something hard, and the beginning of something good. I'm really hoping this second half of the year brings new beginnings and restoration to many areas of my life.

2012 had almost got the best of me, but since it's only half over I'm going to start looking at this year as half full and not half empty.

For now, I know, at least end of September holds a surprise 4th child for me. I'm already thankful for this healthy life growing 27 weeks strong in me.

Thank you for reading, praying, loving me...even in my great writing absence. I hope that too changes.

Conversations You Have With Me On The Phone

First of all, it really kills me to blog without photos, but I just can't subject you to any more of my awful iPhone quality photos and my camera is still being used by my husband for work [no...what? you didn't hear bitterness in my voice, no...not at all], but should be shortly returned to me [and or stolen back]. 

I was on the phone today, which rarely happens during the day---as you stay at home moms know---when my gilfriend joking said "if I ever start a blog it will be called 'Things I hear Candra say while I'm talking to her on the phone'" Apparently our conversations go a little like this---

Me: So yeah we are just about done putting up the boys bunk beds toge----STOP! No, you can't climb over the ledge---Sorry. Don't put that hula hoop around your brother. So I'm pretty excited---Hold on, no hitting---Sorry---Okay guys, that's enough---let me call you back the boys are fighting.

Friend: click.

 *enough time to discipline kids goes by*

Me: Where were we? [blames bad behavior on bad weather] I got the bedding, but---why are you crying? Because your hands are dirty? Oh wait, no, you fell in ants---Oh no, Can I call you back?

Friend: click.

*enough time goes by for me to go cover our newly emerged for Spring time ant piles, and kill bees. Plus find Benadryl, and console baby.*

Me: Sorry...Again. So yep, that's what's going on with that room, but we really haven't decorated much more than that---Don't hit the tennis racket on the window---Oh man my battery is deadI'll have to call you back later.

Friend: click.

*Phone stays dead till well past bedtime and I'm now blogging and probably won't call her back*

Is it just me? ha!

Why My Blogging Has Slowed Down...

...mainly because I sleep now.

Honestly, though. I have been trying to keep my New Year's Resolutions, one being, 8 hours of sleep. And with the new---

"Bun in the oven" [don't worry, my husband didn't get it either when I broke the news to him.]

Me: Come down here and look at the oven, something is wrong
Him: What? There's a bun in the oven.
Me: Uh Huh...........
Him: What's wrong with it? It's just a bun in the oven.
Me: Think about what you're saying
Him: [Finally got it]

So, if resolutions didn't motivate me to sleep, a poppy seed size child in my uterus has.

I've just been really focusing on trying to cook more, sleep more, and spend time with my family. Charles started a new part to his business at the turn of this year and it's going to be a busy month with 70+ hours and 6 day work weeks. Even if from home, I'm kinda single parenting it. It's just a small season, and sacrifice, not that it's easy, but I believe his desire to do this will pan out.

Some days have been easy.
Some days I've cried.
Some days I've wondered if homeschooling Nation has brought us closer or farther.
Some days I see that all the work to be done is...also in me...not just in my oldest only.
Some days my husband has gotten of work an hour early.
Some days he's gotten off work 6 hours later.
Some days the kids have almost died being boys.

It's life. I'm so thankful though for my God, my husband, my family and my church friends. All of them have brought [as corny as it sounds] sunshine into my life during this busy and transitional start to the year.

[Currently my 1 year old is chasing my 3 year old with a cheese grader around the house---should I stop blogging? Is this terribly unsafe?]

So I might write, I might not, I hope so. But at the end of the day if I've done what God told me to and I don't have time to share---it's a small sacrifice to be obedient to what He's called me to do with the precious few hours I have to fit it all in everyday.

Tonight, I feel that all is well with the world. Even if my kids are chasing each other around with kitchen supplies. It could be worse, I could be working out instead of blogging.

What transitions has your new year brought you?

Cleaning, Comparing and Crushed Goldfish

I am torn between wanting to spend all my time cleaning to be [and appear] like I have it all together or relax and do my best while still maintaing a pleasant relationship with my husband and children. After all, isn't it ever mans dream to have a tightly wound overly busy wife and clean floors? Don't kids like when mom [today] yells into thin air nonsense about floors, carpets, and dishes?

But then again...doesn't every good mom have a clean house? All the time? It matters, a lot, right? I can hear the judgmental thoughts in my head "well I do it...there's no need to make excuses...you could do it."

I'm suppose to care about what God cares about, right? Not about what I care about. Namely [and apparently]...looking good to other people. Also known as, people pleasing.

You know the ironic thing? Just yesterday I asked the Lord to speak to me...anything. Just speak. I completely and totally expected a long list of things for me to do to better please him. You know like "pray for this country" "take so and so a meal" "read this book" "sleep more"

You know what He said--- "You're a good mom".

Stopped me right in my tracks. Huh? *tears* Really? The God of the universe just wants to---encourage me? Not give me something to do or improve on? It's no surprise to me that 24 hours later I'm being attacked with every judgmental and preforming demon within a 50 mile radius.

So let's get this straight. You, are healthy. Know Jesus. Are married to a man that deeply & dearly loves you. Have 4 beautiful healthy children you have the privilege of being with all day. Live in America. Practically live a royal lifestyle compared to the rest of the world. All your needs are met, and most of your wants. And you're worried/stressed/have anxiety/a tightened chest/have cried today over the fact that maybe your house isn't always as clean and organized as you like?

*Clears Throat* You have a three month old right?

But She...

Ahh Comparing.

Because my life is exactly like hers and it's completely fair to compare our lives. Oh and biblical [ha!]. Our husbands are the same. Have the same job. Work the same hours. Help and encourage us the exact same. We have the same amount of kids, same ages, same sex, same personalities and struggles. Our houses are the same size too. So it's completely understandable why I want to be the best version of her instead of doing my best to be the best version of me.

Bottom line. I care what people think more than what pleases God.

God wants me to do what He's doing. If He's cleaning my house---I'm cleaning my house. If He's spending time with my kids, I'm spending time with my kids. So on and so forth. He knows me. He knows what I do with my time and He knows how hard I work. He knows I'm not lazy and He knows I love to clean and organize. He knows I chose my husband, my kids, and yes why even myself [resting!] over chores. He doesn't send guilt my way and He isn't asking me to change anything. He's perfectly pleased with the verison of myself.

He knows I'm doing my best. But I'm so worried people will look at the crushed goldfish on my floor and not see it too.

At the end of the day, I want to be known as a woman who loved Jesus, her husband, her children, her family & friends mightily. Not as the woman whose floors were the cleanest they'd ever seen. At this rate of chasing Jesus half the time and chasing people's approval the other half. People will end up half loved around me and my floors will end up half neglected as well. My calling is to love well. Clean, yes, but because it's necessary for order---not appearance.

Can you have both? Maybe you can. I currently don't. The point is, I need to be happy for you, and content with me.

So if you come to my house and it's not perfectly clean, organized, or decorated. Maybe you can appreciate the smiles on my husband & kids faces---because mommy didn't yell into thin air today. She just did her best. And that's all her Creator asked her to do.

So moms---if you haven't heard lately---You're a great mom. Just do your best. Be the best version of---You. Not "Her".

12 Resolutions for 2012

Last year, I made 11 resolutions. It was a bit hard looking back over them, feeling like I'd missed the mark [or 11], but a goal written down is better than no goal at all...right? All were achieved at least in part. That's what another new year is for...or so I'm telling myself.

To be honest, I wasn't at all prepared for the new year. It might have been because I hosted my first New Year's Eve party and we were still playing cards after 3 am, and my baby woke up for the day at 7 am. I think I probably should have made my list with a lot more thought and prayer, but I wrote some down on scratch paper while I was working out on the elliptical instead.

I love beginnings of years, I love beginnings of months and weeks, but I don't like failing. I know that none of "my plans" can happen without the Lord. I know that in all my efforts, I will surely fail, but in Christ, I can do all things. Especially those things He is calling me to do, and not just me thinking I should achieve. So, I don't really feel like I know already what all the Lord is calling me to in 2012...but here is a stab in the dark at it.

1. Inviting His Presence Into My Life More
Through more worship music in the house, more family devotions,  more listening to my audio bible, more reading The Word on my phone, more praying for my husband & kids while at the sink, and more conversing with Him as I go about my day. In 2010, God taught me a lot about prayer, and finding time for His word. I loved all the Beth Moore bible studies and growing in the Lord with my girlfriends. There is always room for more---especially this year.

2. Putting My Husband First
Something God really has been teaching me about for the last two years. In all the small ways I put him first, he becomes first in my life in a big way. Serving, not looking to be served.

3. Loving My Kids
Only second to my husband, my kids are my ministry. I'd love this year to be a year where I grow more in training, teaching, and loving my kids. I guess the goal is---the least amount of therapy later in life needed. I had a period of last year where I struggled a lot with anger and yelling, it ceased for a good bit, but when some situations in life resurrected those heart issues in me---anger has reared it's head. I don't want to be angry in my heart. So maybe a SOZO. This goal also includes reading a few more books on parenting and reprograming my mind to practice what I preach. Patience. Slow to Anger. Sharing. Kindness. Selflessness.

4. Sleep
I'm a night owl, I've said it a zillion times. I'm spoiled because my kids sleep all night and take great naps so I can too...on occasion. With homeschooling and working out, sometimes I just can't---to which I rely heavily on caffeine and Jesus because otherwise I'm just a hot mess waiting to explode on the next person because I'm so sleepy. So many of my problems in life are solved with 8 hours of sleep under my belt. I'd love this to be the year I highly value those 8 hours of sleep in a row at night.

5. Cooking
Probably only second to complaining about my lack of self control when it comes to going to bed on time, is my complaining about my lack of persevering in the area of cooking. I'm lazy. I'm really good with a plan. E-mealz really helps me. So does meal planning, only I tend to weave in and out of consistency in those departments. Another great goal this year would be if I could become more of a planner and follow through. I still don't enjoy cooking, but I always enjoy when my husbands happy and when we're all around the table at night at a meal I made for them. Last year was the most meals I've ever cooked, so it was definitely a start. Health is always my goal, and the more we eat in the healthier it is. Saves money too. I need a rad 3 meals a day plan for this year.

6. Lose Weight
I hate to say it, it's so cliche, but it's a fact of [my] life. I was 225 when Moses was born and lost 20 before Weight Watchers, and 20 after, but have been stuck at the glorious 185 for so many months I don't remember. I really wanted to get pregnant about 6 months ago, but have really struggled with losing the next 20-30 pounds to put me back at my pre-baby weight. I can do it. It's not impossible, it just takes more self control and effort that I've given it so far. I haven't done my best, I'm not proud of it, but I am where I am and I'm ready to ask for mercy and try again. Not being pregnant has been really upsetting to me as "my plan" hasn't been happening, but we don't see the wisdom in getting pregnant on purpose when I'm so overweight. Weight Watchers worked, but became very difficult for me to keep up with while homeschooling & keeping up with this big house. I don't have a food plan at this point [never a good thing!], but I'm listening. I want one. My only goal in this department is to use my new elliptical at home for an hour a day...everyday...in as much as that is possible. A habit I really want to get into. Then---my reward---get pregnant!

7. Reading

Last year my goal was to read 12 books. I think I ended up around six. [1] Radical [2] Crazy Love [3] For The Child's Sake [4] The Five Love Languages [5] One Thousand Gifts [6] Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti.  I attribute all this reading to Audible. It was something new I tried last year and I loved listening to audio books. I didn't hit my goal of 12, but it was 6 more books than I would have sat down to read, so I'm thankful, and ready to try again for 12 this year. Another post I'll review the books I read last year.

8. Operation World

My heart is for the nation's. Hence why I named my first son, Nation. Life doesn't really allow to much foreign traveling with all my littles at home, but that's no excuse not to be involved in what God is doing. I bought the book, signed up for the emails, and plan to work through it as a family. I want my focus to be that of a world view, and not of a "I have so much laundry my life stinks" view. Perspective for 2012, please.

9. Be Mentored

One of my biggest "regrets" of 2011 was that I didn't have a personal mentor I spoke with often. I have a few ideas in mind, but I'd love the Lord to orchestrate that for me. I really would love a Godly older woman I could glean from. 

10. Make Disciples

It's a God mandate. Love God and love others. The best way to love others is to: [1] Tell them about Jesus [2] Help them be set free to fully love him [3] Serve them [4] Live life side by side with them. I want this to be a year where I really focus on relationships---at all stages. To some, I need to share Christ for the first time, to others, I need to show them how they can be set free from bondages or be healed, to others I just need to take them a meal or help watch their kids, and most fun of all---live life transparently & peacefully alongside the body of Christ. It's something I want to wake up everyday being mindful of.

11. Scrapbooking

It was this time two years ago when I scrapbooked for the last time. I can't believe I'm even saying that. It's a hobby I really really enjoy, but when baby #3 came, more traveling, blogging, moving, new social life at church, etc etc---personal time for scrapbooking took a huge back burner. I'd love to [1] Make Moses a baby album [2] Do a digital album for 2010 [3] Do a digital album for 2011 and [4] Start a paper album for 2012. I need a plan for this goal as well. Oh, and a lot of time. I love photographing our life and displaying what God has done---it needs to make it's way back as a priority in my life.

12. Look At My Goals Everyday

I think that if I get some practical plans for executing my above 11 goals for 2012, and put them at the fore front of my mind everyday I am much more likely to accomplish them. For sure, waking up to a baby in a dirty diaper, a toddler who needs a drink and an oldest child who is ready to start school---it's easy to forget to pray, read, share Christ, or even brush my teeth. My desire is that I would be Holy Spirit led this year to be a better & healthier follower, wife, mother and friend than I was last year. I'm asking God for His goals, His plans, and His wisdom in executing all them with peace, joy and good fruit! Excited for all God will do in and through me this year. And you too!

What about you? What are your 2012 resolutions?

Life Happens [31 Things I Know]

This I know...

Life Happens

...every time you don't expect it to.

Last time I posted on this theme "31 Things I Know" it was exactly a week ago. Putting me 7 posts behind. Hilariously enough, a few days ago when I posted on facebook "I'm 3 going on 4 posts behind" 5 people initially read that [and got equally excited] that I was saying I was 3 going on 4 kids, ha ha. Although I would compare trying to conceive with blog posting in the busy holiday season as they are equally challenging, ha. For the record, I am not with child.

I say all this to say, a little over a week ago, circumstances beyond my control in my extended family occurred that took much priority over blog posting. I think what makes a good blogger is someone who isn't blog posting when they should be attending to something in "real" life. That, and a lot of finishing up schooling, plus preparing for hosting two large parties at my house and attending a few myself. I see why people don't celebrate the seasons sometimes---it's a lot of buying/planning/attending. But, I think it's worth it...once you're at the party!

It attempt to keep going and catch up, I'm going to condense today's post by adding 6 other "things I know" to today's Life Happens. Cars break down, Finances lack, Children are diagnosed with cancer, Toilets leak thru floors, Bad reports over your child, Marriages struggle, People don't show up to things you plan... Just a few of the things I've seen in my friends lives this past week. I'm sure you could add to the list.

Life happens.

Especially when we lease expect it.

But, when it happens, I think the only real response is:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

-1 Thess. 5:16-18

I know it sounds easier said than done, and you don't feel like it, you don't feel strong enough or spiritual enough and it makes no natural sense--but "this is the will of God for you". Give Thanks. You don't have to thank God for the cancer, but you can thank him that he is the Great Physician, you don't have to thank God you don't have enough, but you can thank him that He is the Lord who provides. You may have a lot to be stressed about, but how much more do you have to be thankful for?  

6 other things I know...

1- Children should be exposed to different instruments. I'm beginning to think everyone could have been a musician if given the exposure and chance.

2-If you're not using it---you don't need it. Be a blessing, give away what you've been storing in your closets & cabinets and drawers that could be used by someone today! 

3-Some things aren't worth fighting about. Sometimes it's better to keep small annoyances to yourself, is it really worth ruining a good night...with a fight? No.

4-Every woman should own at least one Rita Springer worship album. Just sayin'.

5- When someone pops into your mind, or something reminds you of them...you should probably pray for them and contact them. Sometimes they need it, sometimes they need it and didn't know they needed it. I think it's God's way of nudging us to rally around someone.

6-A backyard with raw materials is the best childhood gift you could ever give a boy. Maybe a girl, I don't know. That, or a dog, but you know I'm not doing that! I can't begin to describe to you the house my boys have created, pretended, played and learned together with all the random things back there. Oh, and it looks like super trashy & I'm sure my neighbors think very very low of me, but one day, one day---it will all pay off I'm sure. As Nation said the other day, "I hope one day I can make an invention for the entire world". 

Merry Christmas week. 

Hopefully I'll get back on track...if not, you know I'm attending to something important. ; )

Dr. Jesus [31 Things I Know]

This I know...

Dr. Jesus

...is my main practitioner.

I say that mostly joking. If you know me, you know I'm more of a natural person than a medical person. It wasn't always that way and I'm not even entirely sure where it all started. Here, let me write out loud and try to remember...

I grew up not going to the Dr. too regularly, but didn't really use any homeopathic medicines until maybe high school, but still not too many. My mom took me to chiropractor & gave me supplements my last few years living with her...so maybe that planted the seed of "going against the medical grain" thoughts. I've written before about how in college I was a nanny to a family who taught me more about organic and natural living. I explored some. But when I met Charles it all expanded...

Before we were even married I was calling him a pilgrim. He was wanting us to have lots of kids, homebirth, homeschool and not have medical insurance. Jesus was our great physician and healing was our medicine of choice. I sound like I'm kidding or exaggerating or even making fun of him, but I'm not. This is really what my making his own bread while single husband was [is] like. I think it became kinda a google search hobby for us. Whenever we had a medical issue we would just look it up, and then pray. Or vis versa. We didn't schedule an appointment right away, although we were willing to go to the Dr. when necessary, especially for the kids. However, to our surprise [or expectation] we just didn't have to go a lot.

Maybe an difficult ear infection here or there, but only maybe once or twice a year for our whole family. We take supplements, see a great chiropractor, eat healthy, and pray a lot. Through the last 6 years I've read a lot, and seen a lot to know---you can't always just do what you're told. It's good to read up on subjects for yourself, and not go into a Dr. office blindly. Yes, the medical community is amazing and life saving when necessary, but in general, I think we have to be cautious to be quick to be compliant. It's good to have an opinion, have questions, or be hesitant to try to latest drug or shot.

If I could offer some advice it would be that possibly we should rely on Dr. Jesus [and Dr. Google] a little more often than Dr. I know what's best for you so don't ask questions. Sometimes they know better than us, but sometimes we have a gut feeling---it's just not for ourself or our family. 

So mommies, may I kindly suggest, you make medical decisions with much prayer, and knowledge, and little "sure whatever you say---you're the Dr. after all". Be blessed, be healthy---live long and serve Him!

Scrapbooking [31 Things I Know]

[this has nothing to do with my post, ha, but I hope I just made you laugh]

This I know...

Scrapbooking

...takes less time in my mind, than in reality.

I think my first experience with scrapbooking was when I was in high school and I was at my best friends house and her mom was always always always taking photos of us. She also had 18 albums for each of her four children and proudly toted around a scrapbooking bag. About that time, I'm sure, I announced I would NEVER...scrapbook, or homeschool. Well, the joke was on me, huh? I proudly tote around two scrapbooking bags now.

I first scrapbooked [for real] when I was newly married and pregnant with my first child. I went on a scrapbooking retreat [yep, they are real, and they are awesome] and I started Charles' and I's wedding album. It turned out really amazing and it gave me something to do indoors all summer while I was huge and hot. [Well, of course hott as well]. Naturally, when Nation was born, I had a whole new world of things to scrapbook. His album was ginormous and only fit the first six months of his life. After that, I learned, although 100 photos scrapbooked of the same face---the same day---in the same outfit are precious at the time---they are not so much years later. Just overkill. Too many pages.

Since then I've decided each child gets an album birth to 12 months [sorry Moses, I haven't started yours yet]. Then I work on a family album every year. This includes all the photos of the kids, myself, my husband, our friends, trips, etc. I've done this for 2006 to present. Well, not technically, I mean, in theory. I have been on an almost *gulp* *gasp* [crying], two year hiatus from scrapbooking. I'm gonna blame it on the three kids thing. Even though Moses was born in March, I sometimes think being pregnant with my third and chasing a 1 & 3 year old in the winter in 1000 square feet was worse.

Either way, last year and this year I haven't put hand to paper or punch. It saddens my heart much, as I love doing paper crafts---especially across the table chatting with a dear friend. But last year had a lot of martial housekeeping to attend to on top of adding a third child and traveling to Ohio for 6 months. This year, my excuses include: Looking for a house, packing up a house, moving into a new house, and starting homeschooling.

Now...my plan is to do a digital family album for 2010 & 2011. Then paper scrapbook Moses 12 months. When all that is said and done, and hopefully sooner than later, I'd love to start a paper scrapbook of 2013. Wow, that's weird to type. All I know is that my scrapbooks are definitely the second thing I'd grab out of my burning house next to my kids. The hours and money I've put into them are priceless. They are extremely rewarding to look through and see all the memories we've had together, especially with our boys and traveling. 

In such a digital age, I love to just sit and use my hands to craft with paper. In my mind, I have time, in my reality, I don't, but I sure hope that soon changes. Who am I kidding? Maybe I'll just drive off into the sunset and have my own scrapbooking retreat!

Do you scrapbook? Have you ever started? Stopped?

Junk Drawer [31 Things I Know]

This I know...

Junk Drawer

...is where it's at.

This post will have no picture to express my extreme and deep embarrassment. When I was single I had no junk drawer, what happen to me? Every since I've been married I let a drawer in the kitchen be known as "the drawer were stuff when where I didn't know where it should go". AKA all Charles' stuff and maybe some pens, a checkbook, batteries and some lighters. Ironically, if you go to look for a pen, checkbook, battery or lighter---it will not be there. It's a mystery I can no explain. However, probably lots of screws & random left over pieces to IKEA furniture we didn't have the heart to throw away. Oh, and maybe some tie wraps. [see: my husbands profession: wires]

Since moving in May, I let two kitchen drawers be for "junk", but they have become so full you can't open them and even if you open the cabinets below them you will see the overflow---the has not so gracefully fallen below. It's sad, but still humorous when my husband goes to open them to find something and gets frustrated and starts pulling all the contents out onto the counter top. He usually doesn't find what he's looking for [must have been a pen, checkbook, battery, or lighter, ha ha]. I do have a plan one of these days to actually get organized and put to end these drawers, but we both [or we 100] know that will never happen. 

However, my oldest son is [who is a builder & tinker] thinks this drawer is like a treasure chest. I often find him disobediently hands in searching for treasure. At least someone appreciations the drawer.

I have other areas of my life like this---my van, for one. Y'all that's an entire post in it's self, for sure.

Do you have a junk drawer?

This I know, we all have some closet, drawer, or hidden spot in our house that is just messy & organized. And you know what? Life will go on if we're 100 and it's still that way. Better to have a clean house and a few messy drawers than both clean and be so tightly wound no one wants to come over anyways. I often tell myself---that's what drawers and cabinets are for---to hide messes!

God Speaks [31 Things I Know]

This I know...

God Speaks

...all the time.

In a world where answers are always needed. Where wisdom is always necessary. And where our own thought are never enough. God speaks.

We feel like He doesn't. We feel like He's absent. We feel like He hasn't heard us. Oh, but He has. He's speaking. 

We don't understand His heart. We don't fathom His goodness. We don't understand His ways...or His timing. But none of this discounts the fact that He is speaking. All-The-Time.

In the majestic glimpse of weed. In letters on a Holy page. In words of hope from a friend.

If I know anything, it's Gods voice. I don't hear it enough. I don't ask enough. And I definitely don't get quiet enough. But, when those words of peace, comfort and will come my way. I know. He's speaking. He's words make sense.

If you wonder if He's there, if you wonder if He cares. Sit quiet, ask Him. Ask Him your question...

...Do you love me?

...What do you think about me?

...What will happen to me?

...Am I enough?

...What do you want me to do?

...Am I making a bad choice?

...Am I in your will?

...

Take what you heart to heart. Check it with The Word, and ask for counsel. Most likely, you've heard.

Timing [31 Things I Know]

[cute photo...minus...bad timing on keeping my eyes open]

This I know...

Timing

...[in marriage] is everything.

Having only been married a little over 6 years, I hardly have enough marriage advice to write a book, let alone a blog post, however it's something God is working out in me and I thought I'd share. Timing, in how I communicate with my husband . So, what I use to do when my husband walked in the door, or when he called, or any time I saw him during the day---I'd start right in--- "the kids did this or that" "I'm stressed about so and so" "you need to take care of this that and the other" "have you done blah blah blah yet?" You get the picture. Usually also accompanied with a grumpy face, and selfish attitude. After all, weren't all dialogs between the two of us suppose to start with what was going on with...me? I didn't mean harm, and to be honest I didn't really think much of it. I just thought "hey when I see you, I'm always going to be 'honest' with you and let it all hang out." I never considered...timing.

I have by no means arrived, and I'm sure my husband could even snicker at reading this post remembering [possibly] me behaving this way recently, but I do feel like I'm finally aware and attempting to change. I don't believe in pretending, or being a Stepford wife, or putting on a happy face just because he turned the corner. However, I am realizing that sometimes it's not what you say, or even how you say it...as much as it is when you say it.

My husband is a dreamer, a visionary, and a man full of ideas [gadgets, gizmos and the next big thing]. I've learned through much trial and error, that he wants me to hear his ideas first, be excited with him, and not rush to stomping them out or playing devils advocate so quickly. Let it simmer. Let it sit. [Let him have time to realize it wasn't that bright of an idea.] There is a time and a place to bring that subject back up and mention that I'm not feeling it, or I don't think it's so wise, or I have some questions or thoughts about it. It's not about not saying anything, it's about possibly not responding so---immediately. And it's not about always agreeing with them, or lying, or pretending, or telling them what they want to hear. It's about learning to communicate with a man who is very strong, but very sensitive. A man who can be easily under my thumb...by my words. It's about timing.

So my lady friends, if you aren't already trying this---give it a go. I've recently seen this put out many fires before they even have a chance to start. Pray. Ask. Seek the Lord about how and when to bring things up, mention things, ask about things, or give your opinion and advice. It's not about being a doormat or tickling their ears, it's about being sensitive to the fact that given the wrong timing, your words may have zero productive effect...unless you count offense and fighting. Be wise, and use a quiet moment alone to dive into a deeper subject, verses across the kitchen over three children. Trust me, you'll be heard better...in more way than one. 

Hope this helped.

Songs [31 Things I Know]

[me pretending I can play when Charles & I were dating]

This I know...

SONGS

...can change my mood.

[and mind]

I am not musical. My husband is. My kids are. Again, I am not. Some have said I'm tone deaf, or even partially. Ha. I don't mind. I grew up in South Texas, so I grew up on country music. I have a special place in my heart for songs like "Neon Moon" by Brooks & Dunn and "Baby Blue" by George Strait. At some point after I became a Christian in late elementary, early middle school, I started listening to Christian music. I believe my first CD was Jars of Clay---the album with "Love Song" on it. A song, that consequently probably saved my life, that story is for another post. However, that led into other favorites like Third Day and Jennifer Knapp. Songs on their albums literally got me through high school.

There was a time when I didn't listen to secular music [you know, youth group bonfires and all], but slowly but surely I accumulated my old favorite CD's. I think it was early on in college when I got my first iPod and ventured into the world of downloading songs one at a time from Napster, I mean, iTunes. I can't remember how or why, but I started to fall in love with Rita Springers worship music. This was before I discovered bands like Passion, Hillsong United, and Bethel.

I hate the radio, and rarely listen. Our new van has XM so I love to listen to the "coffee house music" station. But in general, I just play music off my iPod in the car and at home. A few years ago I bought a player for the kitchen that wirelessly plays my Pandora stations, and I love it. It allows me to listen to just the music I want to---even if I don't own it. Free and legal. Take that Napster. I prefer worship music or music that gets my mind back on Heaven and not my [at times] [okay, who am I kidding, all the time] chaotic surroundings. Although, I do love me some good Jack Johnson. He's music, I mean, his ukulele just immediately teleports me to a beach and away from my piles of dishes and laundry. Charles gets a wee bit jealous, I did by him a ukulele last Christmas to give him a shot at being my next Pandora station, but he hasn't taken to it as much. There's still hope.

I'm made a quick [and I'm sure, sure to change] list of my favorite "get me happier" songs. Not all of them are "happy happy" songs, but they get my blood rushing or my mind going a different direction. I'm convinced on days [or weeks] when little music is played in my house---I'm grumpier. Somehow music tells me to chill out, let it go, refocus, be thankful, be happy, be in the moment---not somewhere else hating my life...bored to death, and overwhelmed. Sounds better to be happier, right?

Here's my list:

1. Where Did All The Good People Go [Jack Johnson]

2. Rise Up [Rita Springer]

3. Yellow [Coldplay]

4. Dancing Queen [ABBA]

5. Wide Open Spaces [Dixie Chicks]

6. Everyday [Dave Mathews Band]

7. Stand By Me [Ben E King]

8. Three Little Birds [Bob Marley]

9. Babylon [David Gray]

10. Jeremiah [Sara Groves]

What's on yours? Any song that gets you happy again?

Chores [31 Things I Know]

This I know...

CHORES

...are unavoidable.

[so stop acting surprised & stressing out]

[picture taken last year in our apartment in Ohio while away on business]

 I promise you the clean laundry pile I had today out weighed [literally] the one shown above. In theory, I'd wash and fold two loads a day, but instead I tend to sit down to fold 14 all at one time. Yes, that's about how many I do a week. And I only have 3 kids, Jesus help me when and if we quadruple that. Lately, I figured out my babysitter can fold. Ha! So I've been paying her extra to fold laundry while babysitting, or to just come over and fold laundry. Sad right?

Charles has allowed me to hire her for 15 hours a week to help me with chores, housework, babysitting or homeschooling. Since we've got 4,000+ square feet to keep up with and he's got a pretty demanding job at times---a lot of the household responsibilities fall on me. This is his way of helping me. I'm so thankful. I got off subject, but thought you should know---just in case you thought I "did it all". You may take back the super mom badge you were about to give me. So she folded all my laundry this evening, but still, I wanted to cry all day just thinking about how I hadn't gotten to it yet.

I think I've also successfully paid someone each year to wrap all my Christmas presents because A) I'm awful at it and B) I hate doing it and C) we're usually traveling this time of you so it's easier if someone else has them done for me when I arrive back in town. This year, no excuses, but apparently my babysitter is as handy with tape & scissors as she is with towels & jeans. Off subject again.

So, I say all this to say, I literally walked around my house today saying out loud to calm myself...

"You'll always have more work to be done than time to do it"

"There will always be clothes to wash, dry, fold and put away"

"The kids will always be making another mess somewhere else while you clean this one"

"Everyday there will be dishes to wash again"
"Your house will not look like a museum while you have kids at home all day"

"Your house looks like you allow to be kids"

[this is normal, it's okay]

I was having some major stressing going on today because my mind was in so many places...

---the junk drawers that can barely be opened

---the car that needs a cleaning out [and an entire post to explain how bad it really is]

---the basement that still needs further unpacking and organizing

---dinner [ahhhhhhh!!!!]

---the dirty and clean laundry

---all the cabinets that when I open I wince, and close quickly

I could go on and on. You get the picture. As I'm washing dishes, I'm trying to decide which chore I'll do next and what I'll do with 3 kids while I do that chore. Will I let them run around my piles of folded laundry on the floor, or will I strap them into the carseats while I clean out the car in the garage for an hour? Will I let them play in the unfinished basement while I clean it out? Will I faint if I empty the contents of the junk drawers onto the counters, only to have to leave them for several hours to attend to all the meals, disciplines, lessons, and so on and so forth?

Why am I caught off guard today by the normal daily chores of the car, house, washings, and meals? I can't explain everything in the bible, and I can't explain everything in my life. I think it's safe to say, some days just invoke a little more overwhelmingness [that's not a word] than others. I just kept telling myself to put one foot in front of another. At the end of the day, with the help of my husband, children and babysitter all is well with the Georgi house. Everything isn't finished, but is it ever?

To my sistas who tend to get overwhelmed like me---I think it's only appropriate to refer to the much overused and cheesy saying "Keep Calm & Carry On". Or in my case, Keep Calm & Clean On".

Camera Out [31 Things I Know]

This I know [having the]...

Camera Out

...is necessary with little ones.

I have a very expensive camera [thank you husband who looked on my Amazon wish list], so it's naturally tempting to keep it zipped up in it's case somewhere far far away from our daily rambunctious lives. However, I decided a long time ago if I wanted to capture the "everyday", it would need to be readily available. So sometimes it's in a basket on the counter, sometimes it's in the cabinet sitting on paper plates, and sometimes it's *gasp* just on the counter. 

Yes, it's almost fallen off or been broken a million times, but over the last few years---it hasn't broken! Moments like above wouldn't be caught if I had it put away. Now, mind you, with my iPhone, I am still able to capture things a wee bit faster as it's almost always in my hands, but the quality---well, you know---it still leaves much to be desired. However, it captures enough of the moment to make me wish I had grabbed "my real" camera instead of just my phone.

I usually upload when I can [which is my least favorite part of photography], and then organize into folders in iPhoto. I generally have folders for major events, holidays, or trips, but my steady two are: [for example] December Boys & December MISC. I use to organize more specifically, but now it suffices to have any photos of my boys in one and then any other random photos [scenery, charles & I, friends, objects, etc] in another. So whether you organize, scrapbook, or just fill up your hard drive with them---just take them. This is off subject, but that's just a free tip.

The moral of the story is having your camera out will make you more conscious to snap---snap---snap. You don't have to know what you're doing and you don't have to take too many or too little photos---just take them. It helps me to excite sometimes very monotonous days. To see God in the everyday. To see beautiful in the ugly or messy. To have something to remember how good God has been to me. How exquisite He is. To see him in the flowers brought to me, the toys scattered on the floors, and the naked bottoms that toddle around my house.

Amateur photographers, let's unite! If your camera has dust, bust it out like the broom.

Plain [31 Things I Know]

This I know...

PLAIN

...is easier than fancy.

[photograph by Mango Street Photography]

I'd like to brag that my favorite color is pink, and while I think that is true, you wouldn't know it from my wardrobe. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the kids, maybe it's the extra pounds from the first two mentioned---regardless my clothes tend to lend themselves to black, brown or white. To be honest, too many choices just aren't good for me. I'm overwhelmed easily. I confess, I love to be pregnant because they are such limited choices when it comes to shopping. I "have to" go shop at Motherhood Maternity and chose from their very few selections. 

My house doesn't lend itself to much variety either---I tend to go through phases, the last few years it was an Ikea phase, now it's a Target phase. If you're wondering how I decorate [or lack there of] my house right now---walk up and down Target's home decor aisles. I can't help myself [I said it again], the thought of visiting dozens of stores to collect clothes or home decor overwhelms me, so I just pretend only Target sells it [for now.]

I'm a pretty plain jane. I find something I like, and I buy it in four colors and hope know one notices. I have one pair of favorite flip flops and would be happy to wear them 365 days a year, including weddings and snow. I have had the same hair style [more or less] for almost 10 years, I wear the same shades/brand of makeup for about 6 years now, although I tend to wear it [in the same] pony tail more often than anything. 99% of the time you'll see me with this jewelry on: my wedding ring, my pearl ring & my diamond stud earrings. I've also been ordering the same thing off the menu since I was a kid at my favorite restaurants and eating the same flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. If it's not broken...why fix it?

I get my nails painted clear---because all the colors---well there are just too many choices.

If there was a one stop shop store for life, I'd be completely happy. Although I appreciate all the varieties of stores, hair styles and trends---I'm also perfectly happy to find something that works for me and never think about it again. Every now and again, I'll throw some "wild" colored scarf in or some shinny costume jewelry. But in general I'm completely content to wear almost 100% Old Navy jeans/undershirts /tops for-the-rest-of-my-life. I keep buying basically the same swimsuit---each time thinking it's different.

I'm like a cat.

You could feed me pb&j and mac and cheese every night and I'd just be so happy. So maybe you did or didn't know that about me, but I am a pretty stable girl when it comes to fashion [or lack there of] and decorating trends---home or personal. I'm likely to chose safe over racy, or consistent over up and coming. It's fun to be wild, but it's also peaceful to be me. I'm glad I don't have to be someone else---if I want to I can, but if I don't I won't. Oh my gosh that rhymed. I should end on that note.

Precious ladies---be yourself. Plain or Fancy. Pick what's easiest for you!