Q&A "Do You Sleep Train?"

I don't pretend to have all the answers, or that I would repeat everything I've done, but to date---I do have 4 children who sleep 11/12 hours through the night now and did as infants. Now...toddlers and naps [that's a whole other post!]

If you want to know "how I do it" continue reading...

EAT PLAY SLEEP

They all have different personalities, and levels of difficulty, but somehow they all sleep from about 8 pm till 7 or 8 am most days. It isn't normal for them to get in bed with us, or wake up super early, although the early wake ups do happen on occasion. Either way, we do try to enforce a pretty tight routine so that a) Charles and I can have personal quiet time together and b) we can slept 7-8 hours a night so that we can properly [and patiently] attend to them every day. Especially me.

Right after I had Nation [my oldest], someone handed me Baby Wise. I was too exhausted to read it all the way through [and still haven't], but I skimmed over it and feel like I gleaned the main points. Eat Play Sleep. Which, I do agree, is the way most babies [and children] function.

EAT-As far as I understand it, if you want to schedule [strictly or loosely] your child it starts with feeding times. For example, my 3 month old eats about every 3-4 hours. So If I nurse her at 7:30am, she will eat for a half hour, then "play" for a half hour, going down at 8:30am then sleep for 2-3 hours, waking up to eat around 11:30am. More or less. I did nurse to sleep [few minutes] some of my kids, but some, like Heaven can just be happily laid down and fall asleep on their own within a few minutes. Feedings were more frequent when she was younger and I'm willing to feed slightly more often, but not every few minutes.

PLAY-I am purposeful in my "play" part to properly wear them out both mentally and physically. As infants I will try to make a lot of eye contact, talk to them a lot, provide toys for them to play with, and carry them around. I don't know if baby wearing [or holding] has anything to do with it, but I do attempt to hold my infants as much as possible since their season for needing [and wanting] to be held is really short in the scheme of things. I do put them down if I have to attend to something, but I do try to wear [or hold] them as much as I can.When they start to fuss or whine I know "it's time".

SLEEP-I use a box fan for noise, shades for darkness, a sleep sack for safety, and a light up toy in bed for noise and entertainment while they fall asleep. Usually I just lay them down and they will fall asleep on their own within a few minutes. Obviously a child who sucks their fingers or thumb [Heaven] is easier than a child [Nation & Moses] who used a passey and they can't keep it in or it keeps falling out until they are older.

CRYING IT OUT

The big question right? When Nation was born, we let him sleep with us and next to us in the bassinet. When he outgrew it [started rolling over!], we moved him over to his crib [around a month]. So, you go lay them down and what do they do? They cry. Someone told us to just let them "cry it out". So, we did. I sat, also crying, by the baby monitor for a longer period of time than I care to share, and then he fell asleep. He was clean, full and only wanted me to hold him while he slept. I think he did this two or three nights and then rarely ever again, especially for any real length of time. He seemed to have quickly "trained" himself to realize he wasn't getting picked up. My other three children we did the same thing with, but all of them trained even quicker and with a shorter cry time. I chalk this up to personality and stamina.

NIGHT FEEDINGS

I suppose I should clarify, that I do allow breast feedings through the night when they wake for them [as long as they are spread out and not every few minutes]. For example, if my baby [teething/sick/healthy] wanted to nurse at 12, 3, 6, and 9 am. I would. Honestly, it didn't bother me. I would nurse laying down and then go put them back in their bed and hardly miss a wink of sleep. I didn't feel comfortable letting them "cry it out" if I thought they were actually hungry. If it was just to be held I didn't feel as guilty. Obviously the younger they are the more likely they were to wake up more often, the older they got the less likely they "needed" another feeding. And when they did I figured it was because they were sick, teething or growing.

The first two kids probably would have slept all night, but I used the nightly nursings also to help me from ovulating for 12 months. The last two kids I didn't wake them up at night to nurse them, and they slept all night most nights and some nights they woke for one, or several feedings. Even now, Heaven at 3 months, will sleep 12 hours straight some nights [ouch breasts!] and others nurse a time or two. For me it works. As long as they will nurse laying down while I sleep and I can go put them back in their bed afterwards and they go right back to sleep it's a win-win for both of us. Changing diapers, fussing, or rustling next to me in bed don't work for our family middle of the night [unless they are newborns].

COMFORT

Here's where I might be changing what I think. I'm currently reading a book How We Love and although it's on marriage, it talks in depth about the comfort [or lack there of] we received as a child and how that ends up affecting the rest of our adulthood relationships. I haven't really made up my mind yet, but I'm beginning to lean towards maybe feeling slightly more guilty for letting them "cry it out" so much. I don't think the concept is entirely bad, but maybe in need of a more balanced approach. Maybe we are putting an unnatural pressure on the babies [and ourselves] to have them sleep a certain cookie-cutter-way. Maybe.

I believe "fetuses", infants and children are all 100% persons. I don't think they start feeling the spiritual, emotional and physical affects of this world at some point in adolescents, I believe it starts earlier than we want to believe. Thus, I believe the way we treat those in our womb, or in our arms, can make great impressions upon them later in life.

So, I'm questioning... did those, although, few times, of letting them "cry it out" hurt them in any way? I'd like to think it didn't much, but I wonder.

BALANCE

For me, I want to leave you with one word at the end of this post, it's...balance. Like I said before, I never followed Baby Wise to a T and if I felt like I needed to go in and pick them up mid "crying it out" and comfort them, then I did. So my advice to you is...

1-Hear from the Lord because every child, parent and family is different. What worked for one family, or child may or may not work for you.

2-Comfort them when you hear the Holy Spirit telling you to. Just now even, I laid Heaven down and she would normally go right to sleep watching her sea horse light up and sing to her, but she didn't. I waited a few minutes, and then went up held her spoke to her, and reassured her for just a few minutes and I can now hear that she's asleep. Tell them [even if they don't understand it] "You are safe" "You are loved" You are not abandoned" Etc

3-Pray for them when you lay them down. Pray things like "Peace" "Security" "Angels all around you" Etc

4-I suggest finding something that helps you sleep. I know that I will probably never chose to "comfort" [stay awake with all night] one child for months at the expense of not sleeping at night. Regardless, my other 3 will be up at 7 am, so if my infant and I hang out all night for months and months and never get on any schedule or common compromise no one is winning. Mommy will be nice to one child, while being mean to all the rest of them, and ruining her marriage.

5-Don't be afraid to do something for the greater good. If it's a few minutes of crying it out, or a few mintues of singing, or a few minutes of nursing, or a few hours of co-sleeping. Be willing to do whatever it takes. Because not sleeping has a domino affect on my marriage and relationships and responsibilities to the other children. Don't ignore this truth.

SLEEP IS IMPORTANT FOR THE MOMMY!

I don't know about you, but I feel crazy, impatient and hate the world when I don't sleep [for long periods of time]. So read, ask, pray, try, but most importantly find something that helps you sleep and makes your child healthy. Children need sleep. If your child thinks they don't, ask God for wisdom to show you how to help them do so. He will answer you. Specifically for your child.

Babywearing 101 [My Sling]

[Solomon in sling]

It still amazes me that although slings and wraps have been around as long as babies have, people still tell me when I'm out in public, "Man I wish they had those around when I was having babies." I suppose since the invention of the stroller, there was a period of time when carrying your baby wasn't as "in fashion" as it is today. Either way, as a mom of multiple small ones...I'm forever grateful for the invention.

I first saw this Karma Baby sling at a baby expo before I had my first one. After I had him, someone let me borrow their sling [can't remember the brand now]. I couldn't figure out how to quite wear it right, somedays, but not everyday. 

It could have been that I was a first time mom. 

It could have been that I was beyond exhausted. 

It could have been that I held my first sitting down more than I carried him. 

It could have been because I waited till he could crawl to start doing my dishes & laundry again. [kidding---slightly]

When my second came around, I purchased the wrap I'd seen at the expo and wore it right away like a pro [probably because I had no other choice with a 21 month old to chase]. I picked the Karma Baby reversible for three reasons:

1. I liked that it was reversible
[I could wear on cute side, Charles could wear on solid side]

2. I liked that it had a pocket
[I could fit my diaper/wipes/nursing cover in...no need for diaper bag]

3. I liked that it looked simple
[For the first go, I wasn't willing to deal with loops, wrapping, etc]

I typically wear my baby in the sling the first few days/weeks/months because newborns love to snuggle close to their mommy and sleep in cradle position. Once the baby is about 2-5 months old I can put in the front of the sling with their legs crossed. About they time they are 6 months old I switch over to my Ergo, because it's about this time their legs spread more easily.

For the occasion when I use my sling after that [photo below] I put them on my hips. I have worn kids 6 months-3 years on my hips with no problem. However for several hours, I prefer them in an Ergo.

[Moses in sling]

My Top 5 Newborn Essentials

If you read my post yesterday, you know I'm not using the term "need", as I believe all a baby really needs is his or her [nursing] mommy. My top 5 items collectively cost around: $650, having said that, you don't "need" all these items, but if I was going to just buy 5 items for my baby these would be them.

These items allow you to diaper them, carry them, feed them, travel them, and lay them down. Mind you, to make this list 5 and not 6---they will be naked unless you of course---clothe them. That's what grandparents are for! A pack of 5 onesizes are $10 either way.

My 5 Newborn Essentials:

1. Cloth Diapers & Wipes @ $250

2. Ergo& Infant Insert @ $150

3. Nursing cover @ $30

4. Car Seat @ $120

5. Pack N Play @ $100

Photo Credit: Cloth Diaper Talk Blog

1. Cloth Diapers & Wipes

Newborns poop. A lot. I'd say a fair average is 12 diaper changes a day. I'm not going to lie,Pamper Swaddlers size Newborn are awesome! However, at about $.25 a pop you will be doing some expensive throwing away those first few months years.

I wrote a post already explaining my love for cloth diapering, so let me be concise here and say, in about 2-4 months [depending on how many you buy] you can purchase all the diapers you'd need for the first three years of your child's life OR you could keep throwing away $50-75 a month [depending on the brand & amount used daily].

Did I mention you can hand those down to the next child? Can't do that with a disposable.

Recommendation for a newborn diapers:

BumGenius 4.0 [Recommend 12-24 for newborn]

[I purchase from cottonbabies.com, but amazon has similar prices]

Recommendation for baby wipes:

Reusable

Disposable [found at Costco]

Photo Credit: Ergobabycarriers.com

2. Ergo& Infant Insert

I've been a baby wearer as long as I've been a mom. I purchased an Ergo more than 5 years ago and still use it weekly while I clean, cook, watch the older kids at the park, grocery shop, hike, etc. When you have one child, I suppose the option to always sit and hold them is an option [that I took for months in my PJ's], but after you have two...that option is long gone. You have to be on your feet chasing one, while keeping the other happily bouncing around [my preference...on my back!].

I think baby wearing is good for their digestive system, their brain, and most importantly their heart. Held babies are happy babies. Puts mine right to sleep or entertains & hushes up a cranky baby.

There is no way I could take care of my house or the other children with it.

I like the Ergo because it's ergonomically made for your body and thus takes all the pressure off your shoulders and back and puts it on your hips...where we were meant to carry weight. The infant insert is a great addition for those first few months.

I can still carry my three year old in it [not that I do often...you got legs buddy, walk]. My husband likes to wear it, and it's got the option to wear on your front, back, or side. Don't be fooled by imitations, at least borrow someone's before purchasing and see if you can wear "those others brands" for more than a few hours. I will say, I now also own a Boba and it is very similar to the Ergo. If you have extra money, I enjoy using a Karma Baby sling those first few weeks, months, but if I had to just purchase one thing, it would be the Ergo.

Photo Credit: Junior Towne Website

3. Nursing cover

I would have made "Breastfeeding" for #3, but you can't exactly purchase that, which is is the point---it saves you hundreds of dollars! Not all women can breastfeed, or choose to, and I respect that, so in that case replace nursing cover with formula---a babies gotta eat! If you can breastfeed I highly recommend it for several reasons, one being, saving money. Formula costs around $30 a week, give or take depending on type and amount. Imagine saving around $1000+ their first 12 months!

Having said all that, a nursing cover is a very practical and easy way to make nursing in public, and or around your friends & family in your home modest experience for everyone. I saw one before I had my first at a baby expo and thought they were so silly and dumb. Fast forward twelve months later of carrying around a huge heavy hot blanket that the baby constantly ripped off my chest and it was my first purchase for baby #2.

They are small, light weight, can fold up easily and be stored in your Ergo. I also use mine as a little blanket sometimes for the baby in their carseat. I purchased one online from BeBe Au Lait [also known as Hooter Hiders], but now they sell them almost everywhere for different brands and at different prices. You can even sew your own!

Photo Credit: Grace Snugride Infant Car Seat Blog

4. Car Seat

One of the mistakes I made as a first time mom was buying the wrong carseat. I didn't know what I was looking for. I bought a $250+ carseat that was:

a. too heavy

b. too bulky to fit in restaurant booths

c. didn't fit on grocery cart bars

d. sat my baby up way too straight

e. had an uncomfortable handle for carrying

f. had a shade that didn't move or cover the babies face

Thankfully there was Craigslist to rid myself of my mistake and I went out an bought a much better one that met my above personal requirements, didn't break the bank and just so happen to be highly rated with Consumer Reports.

There are two types of carseats for infants. Those that are infant carriers [can be carried into a store and or attach to a stroller] [up to 30+ lbs], and convertible carseats, those who grow with your child [5-70 lbs]. I personally like the infant carriers because I like to take the babies in places in their seat [especially when they fall asleep], but I would say that the best buy for your buck would be a convertible.

I bought the Graco Snugride, it was the top a few years ago. Light and comfty.

According to Consumer Reports: [currently]

The top 5 infant carseats are: 

1. Chicco KeyFit

2. Maxi-Cosi Mico

3. The First Years Via 1450

4. Safety 1st Designer 22

5. Graco Snugride

The top 5 convertible carseats are:

1.  Cosco Scenera

2. Evenflo Symphony

3. Graco ComfortSport

4. Maxi-Cosi Priori

5. Safety 1st Alpha Omega Elite

Photo Credit: Costco Baby High Chair Blog

5. Pack N Play Playard

By far, probably my most treasured and used item through out having these three boys has been our pack n play. We did buy a Ikea crib [$129], but looking back it probably wasn't necessary. Pack n plays take up less space in a room, cost less, travel well and sleep a child just as easily. They wash easily too and you can even buy a cover to protect them. They last long...my kids still sleep in a pack n play at my moms that is 14 years old and looks like new. We've traveled to 8 states for work, and many more states for vacations dragging the same pack n play with us everywhere. Currently, it's been Moses "crib" the last year.

Save your money on a changing table...they come with one! Save your money on a expensive mobile...they come with one! Save your money on several bouncy seats and other safe places to hold the baby. The pack and play is as good for sleeping as it is for letting them safely play with some soft toys in.

It nicely pulls up close to your bed those first few days, weeks, months like a co-sleeper, or is perfect in a room by itself. Mine is no longer available for purchase, but I think this Safety 1st one for $100 is a great buy since it comes with all the bells and whistles. You can find them plain for around $40, or fancy for over $300. Don't be deceived, anything around $70-100 is more than sufficient.

---Keep in mind---

You can find all these items at Consignment Sales, Consignment shops, 

your friends closet, eBay, Craigslist, or Goodwill. Ask around!

Or make yourself, well except for the carseat maybe!

What My Husband Does For A Living

or "How My Husband Brings Home The Bacon"

or "Did You Know Wires Were So Purdy?"

As you know, we just got home last Sunday from Dayton, Ohio after an almost 5 month out-of-town job for my husband's company, Inspired Excellence. My husband took a crew of 6 guys with him and they transformed WHIO Channel 7 News Station into this...

 They specialize in taking messes of wires and making it look like that [above].

 They ran wires from the equipment room through the ceilings, the floors, and even along the ceiling [like above third picture] to the TV studio.

 They installed TV's as well as all the broadcast wiring.

 The boys were amazed at the thousands of wires that ran under the floors.

 All their hard work is not only organized and beautiful, but makes live newscasts & weather reports possible...among other things.

P.S. I shot all these photos with Moses on my back...now thats babywearing.

How I Know We Didn't Evolve From Apes

After attending Charles' cousin's wedding Friday night, we stayed over in Toledo Saturday so we could hang out with his dad & visit the Zoo. Charles' dad took him about 26 years ago.

I didn't get any many pictures of the animals because I was a little busy chasing/carrying my three little monkeys around. However, it was a lovely zoo & it was Pumpkin Patch Weekend which meant every was in costumes, but us [oops], but we ate so much candy we forgot.

I use to judge these...now I own two.

Somewhere there is a picture of Charles on this at 3.

The hippo is always my favorite

Now shots from the iPhone:

Ugliest fish award

Oh yes, this ape was sticking his finger you-know-where
& then eating it by the handfuls. I mean I know human
babies eat poop sometimes, but I'd hope by adulthood we're done.

These are considered healthy foods the apes naturally eat.
[Someone from Cheerios got the key to this cabinet.]

Can you believe this? She couldn't move [she's in skates]

Again, proving I was there

I enjoy taking the kids to the zoo...teaching them a little, learning a little myself. All the walking walks off the sugary treat I'm sure to find while there. I've been zoo's in: Houston, Atlanta, San Diego, and Nashville. I'm hopeful we make it to the Cincinnati & Chicago Zoo's before heading back to GA.

[Thanks Grandpa Chuck!]

Eight Kids Seven Hours

If you read my last post, you know the Martin's came to visit from GA last weekend. On Sunday, we decided to check out two local parks & eat lunch outside. It was the perfect weather for
7 hours of straight outdoor play.

Playgrounds. Scooters. Tennis. Slides. Football. Frisbee. Soccer.
Most importantly, great company.

photo credit: nathan martin

photo credit: nathan martin

Don't let all this kid-focused fun fool you. Charles & Nathan went out Friday night bowling and Sarah & I went out Saturday night to dinner. Sunday night after the kids went to bed we played Pictionary for hours. It sure was a test of marriage communication. It was hilarious fun. It was the first of many future games to come.


[I entered these portraits into a photo challenge on Simplicity.]