Monday, August 29, 2011

How Long Should You Wait To Have Kids

The answer is...

...there is no answer. Really it varies from person to person, but here is my experience---

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
         So are the children of one’s youth.
 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
         They shall not be ashamed, 
         But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127: 3-5

How long did you wait?


  1. My husband and I are going to wait another year-ish to have kids. We've been together for almost 9 years (in December) but we only got married this May. I am with you, I don't necessarily think there is a "right" time to have kids, but I definitely think you should be a bit older, wiser and financially stable. However, saying that, you are never really "ready" to have kids.

  2. I love that you mentioned there is no "right" time for kids - if there was none of us would ever have them and most of us would never be here! Aaron and I got married in 2007 and I had actually been told I'd never have kids without medical assistance. We were never "trying" but we didn't (and still don't) use birth control so we were never "not trying" either. We got pregnant in 2008 and had a miscarriage. Got pregnant again a few months later and had Grace in 2009 and we're STILL waiting for Baby who will be here Friday if not before ;) (41wks +5 today). I used to think couples "needed" some couple time before they had kids but I think if the Lord blesses with kids He'll provide for your relationship too!

  3. We had a 4 year plan when we got married.... It was trumped by the 10 day plan. We got pregnant on the honeymoon. I am ready for that level of ease again. Bring on the babies ;)

  4. This seems to be the topic of the year. Haha! I'm pretty sure I got pregnant on my wedding day so I didn't even have the option to think about it rationally. I don't think I would change anything because I LOVE that Ezra is already 5 and in school. I will also be in my thirties when he graduates highschool :). I have plenty of time to spend with each of my men individually because of their age differences. Though I often think about how nice it would be to travel and do fun things JUST with Brenden, I know we'll have plenty of time for that when the boys are a little older. I definitely agree there's no perticular right age but I'm satisfied with my decisions/surprises ;)

  5. I liked your answer! Even though it's totally opposite of what drove my decision to wait 5 years to have my first baby, haha!

    We got married at the age of 20 and could barely manage ourselves much less a child. I was terrified every month that I would get pregnant, have to drop out of college, and flush my dreams of being the next Michelle Pfeiffer in that movie about the inner city teacher down the toilet. For us, in our relative immaturity and newlywed-ness... we needed TIME. Did we "need" 5 years? No. But God called us into the mission field for a couple of those years so the wait was purposeful and worth it in the end.

    Now that I have two children and can't even remember what it was like to be without them, I chuckle to myself about all the lofty reasons I put off having kids. Would I advise someone else to wait 5 years, in the name of "time?" Probably not now. But back when I was the one waiting it out... I thought all y'all baby havers were crazy. :)

    I can't imagine you as anything but a mom of many and it's clear from your words that most importantly you sought the Lord about it. That's the most important part!

  6. This was very sweet and thoughtful. Thanks for taking my question, what an honor. :-) As someone without kids, I appreciate the honesty and perspective. More and more lately I think that some people are definitely called into parenthood. And I think my husband and I will get that calling, but right now neither of us has any inkling of emotion towards it (except of course from all the guilt we get from the would-be grandparents, aunts, and uncles). It can be so confusing when there are so many people giving us unsolicited input; this highly solicited take was a lot more affirming than you can imagine!



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