The Types of People You See On Cruises
1. Mr. & Mrs. Cruise
I spotted them at check in. The 70 something couple walking fast paced in their bright white sneakers, matching sweat suits, and of course spray tans. They just yell "We've done this better, we know the drill, get out of our way". We've actually met people today that have been on over 100 cruises with this cruise line alone! [I feel God might be calling us to be cruise evangelists, ha!]
2. Mr. & Mrs. Body Builder
Yes, vacation is no place to take a vacation from your 8 pack and flattened tummy [accessorized with navel ring]. They're fun to watch walk, think...normal cruise swaying walk meets my-thighs-are-so-muscalar I walk usual all the more.
3. Mr. & Mrs. Mafia
Big watches, accents, slick hair, loud voices, profanity, and intimidation. Think Sopranos. Yep, they're cruising with us, not sure to feel more safe, or less.
4. Mr. & Mrs. Foreigner
Upon casual conversation started..."Huh?" *Shakes head in non-understanding*
5. Mr. & Mrs. Retirement
It's cute, she takes such good care of him...jello & sugar-free cookies [all you can eat].
6. Mr. & Mrs. Buffet
Their plates are pilled high and they know how to push their way around in line. They are here for one reason and one reason only. To eat their $1000. We might fall into this category...we did order shrimp cocktail & chocolate cake a midnight. And I did actually say today, "This plate of onion rings is soooo heavy." Plus, Charles reminds me often, "It's just not right to be hungry on a cruise".
7. Mr. & Mrs. Drunk
They stumble, they slur, they puke, they lean against walls, they talk too loud, and they smell too much. For just $350 one can drink their little liver away all week long...and many are. I don't understand this, I already feel drunk on equilibrium imbalance alone. Plus, I'm a great dancer...even when sober.
8. Mr. & Mrs. Gambler
I prefer to focus mainly on "those slot machine people." If the casino is open, they are there. For countless hours they will pull that lever and push that button in hopes of a big pay out. Apparently last week the machines paid out nearly quarter of a million. I saw one guy the other night with over 800 credits just pushing "spin again" over and over. I tried it out, donated $40 to the casino and then stopped. Luckily, Mrs. Gambler nearly pushed me out of my seat to try to win off of the machine I'd already put so much into.
9. Mr. & Mrs. Christian Couple
They don't drink. They don't gamble. They're probably on an anniversary or honeymoon. They don't have kids and they order together and split food [even though it's free and already included]. They talk to each other only in pet names and take pictures of themselves often. [We sit next to this couple at dinner. They are precious. Two scientists, our age and on their honeymoon.]
10. Mr. & Mrs. Parent
This wish they were here alone, but aren't luckily enough to have my parents as parents. They attempt to enjoy the cruise for the most part, but are regularly seen swimming in the cold pool with their kids, ordering in room service instead of attending formal dinner, or retiring early to their rooms for 8pm bedtime. Our rooms have cartoon network, so that's good. I appreciate their hard work and dedication, but am glad I'm not dealing with sea sick kids myself. [Note to self: remember this post]
Additional cruise member:
The Lone Dancer
They may or may not be married, but you never can tell because they don't couple dance...they are independent dancers. They dance to the beat of their own drum...if you know what I mean. If music is playing, their body spontaneously feels the need to start dancing. It doesn't matter if they are the only one and it doesn't matter if they are off beat. They dance. I see them all over. No matter the type of music, they are in their own little world dancing away for all of us to enjoy. Typically they could be from the Drunk category, or the Cruise category, but never the Gambling or Buffet category...because we know where they are.
[I say all this in good fun]
If this made you laugh...click once below